Spunky Foonerism

Is it possible that Tim was talking about the famous golfer? If so, it's an outrage, because that guy is hilarious. He's overweight, smokes, drinks, but is still a successful professional athlete? Loffs galore!

Did you speak simultaneously, or alternate words, or what? Edit: or were you trying to tell him that he is funny together, as opposed to when he is split into parts? Hahah! Good one. I never get to meet anyone famous. Or anyone from these forums. (Dixon may leap out from the crowd and say hi to my dogs in a couple weeks, so I'm looking forward to that.)

At the sketchfest show duh! It's all anyone's been talking about.

Just post increasingly dumb and irrelevant stuff. So, what did everyone have for breakfast today?

If you see us, you should come say hi! Though if you aren't a pencil IRL you should maybe dress up as one so I'll recognize you.

When is Hollywood Handbook going to get some merch? I'd buy the heck out of some sweet Hollywood Handbook merch. Like maybe a fedora.

I'm happy to keep you updated about Dennis. I've noticed that pictures of my cute dogs get the sweet, sweet likes that I crave. My funny jokes and stories on the other hand, well lets just say that Jo McGurl only understands half of them. It's called RANDO HUMOR, people! BTW, Hurricane Dennis isn't that great of a listener. He has no qualms about rudely wandering away as soon as he is bored. True story, Freud had chows and he used them in his therapy sessions, because he trusted their innate sense of when it is time for something to be over. They would get up and go stand by the door, and that's when Freud would end the session. Dennis is very much that way: he has firm opinions about when something has been going on long enough, and equally firm opinions about what should happen next. He'll pay rapt attention all day, though, if you have baby carrots to give him. He's mad for them.

Ah, I can explain this one. Ross is going to be playing the star of Star Wars, Hans Solo, and so we did a photographic reenactment of a scene from the movie. "It's a trap!" is a really famous line, actually. I'm a little surprised you didn't know that. The other actors are represented in the photo by stuffed toys, because I didn't really have a better way to stage the photo in my house. I might need to get some more dogs. Edit: Confession time. I already had this picture, and I wanted to post it because it is funny, but I needed a way to tie it into the Star Wars thing I'd been talking about. In the movie, there is no scene with a fish admiral or an owl admiral, but I thought I could fake it and fool everyone. Sorry. Yes, definitely. And if Star-burns from Community dissed Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford, it would be "Star-burns burns Star Wars stars."

What's a "bit?" I was knowing the names of Star Wars characters when you were still wearing short pants! (It occurs to me now that Hans Yolo might have been funnier.) Dennis says, "Woof." I hope so! I hope they are the best stars, and that they win the Star Wars.

Here's another one of Hans Solo. Here, he's doing the scene where Admiral Akmar, the fish admiral, is being all, "It's a trap!" and Hans is like, "Don't taze me bro, I am trying to get some shuteye before we bomb the big laser planet thing." And Admiral Smezmar, the owl admiral is like, "Sweet burn, Hans!"

Hurricane Dennis just got groomed today, he is at maximum fluff. He would be great at helping people chill out after a test, because chilling out is his main thing that he does every day, and also he doesn't give a fuck how your test went. Sorry, your "exam." In a couple weeks, Dennis and Ross are going to be walking in the Mardi Gras dog parade (Barkus), which is Star Wars themed this year. Dennis is going to be Leektar, the black Ewok, and Ross is going to be Hans Solo. Leektar: Hans:

I'm okay with that I guess. Wait...which half?

In my house, we have started watching a reality show (show) that is called "Push Girls" and it is about beautiful glamorous young women in LA who are either para- or quadriplegic and in wheel chairs. It's interesting, but I don't have anything else to say about it. I need more practice with discussing reality shows, and I gotta start somewhere. Okay, let me try again. I like how these women are all pretty and quirky and successful, and how they struggle with their disability and with society's perception of them as crippled women, and I also like how they overcome their difficulties and teach me a lesson about how everybody is just a regular guy even if they seem weird or special but also about not being defined by our weaknesses and still be sexy even if your legs don't work, and still be a dancer even if you are in a wheelchair. And one of them is very open about her sexuality and has sex with other ladies sometimes, but sometimes with guys.

Why is it that alcoholic drinks that taste delicious are considered "girly?" Being a tough guy means that you can only get drinks that are bitter and disgusting? It's true that I am a super tough guy, and that I like my drinks like I like my women (bitter and disgusting) but I'll be damned if I won't occasionally be in the mood for something sweet and delicious, and that doesn't mean that I secretly have boobs or that my penis is unusually narrow or something. Did I just have an delicious alcoholic drink? YES. And no, I'm not sorry. Also, that is beside the point, because what I am saying is the stone cold truth.

And we're only finding out about this TODAY? Thanks for "keeping us in the 'loop'."

I got interrupted, like, a thousand hundred times, but I FINALLY finished listening. Great ep, Jes MacCallahan sounds very attractive! (It sounds to me like she is blonde, but my blonde-dar is pretty unreliable these days.) I learned a lot of good advice about how to succeed in Hollywood, and now the first four pages of forum references make sense to me. Except the ones about The Imitation Gang. They must have talked about that when I wasn't paying attention. Edit: the blonde comment was in reference to how I still refuse to believe that Sean's voice is coming from that brown-headed guy in the photos. That is clearly a blonde guy's voice and I just don't know what to think anymore. Edit part ii: Ignore the previous edit, you don't need me to explain my jokes. Sorry.

It's important to know if you should expect rugburn or splinters. Yowza! Edit: I know that everyone has moved on to "Big Italians" jokes about boobs and pizza, but I just thought of this one. I wish we would stick on one topic for longer. #slowburn

Okay, I had to wait but now I'm getting ready to listen to the episode. Nobody bother me, no spoilers, if you see this van a knocking don't bother rocking. The van. Don't rock the van, you can already clearly see that it is knocking, so what would be the point. Just stay away from my van until I'm done with the podcast, is what I'm trying to say. Thanks!

I think this forum is starting to show its ugly true colors of Australian nationalism. ...or Cambodian nationalism. ...or Chilean nationalism. ...or one of the 31 other countries that Wikipedia says have red white and blue as the colors of their flag. Anyway, it's repellant, and I expect better from this loving, international community.

I would go with "HAYES I LIKE YOUR PODCAST," but that's mostly because I get their voices mixed up. I'm envious of you Hollywoodsters on the west coast who can go to comedy shows every day.

Who made you the expert on the business of podcasting!? (Sarcasm! Or irony! I still don't always know the definition of irony! I yell when I am feeling unsure of myself!)

The way I see it, either you hiked extremely fast or you listened to that track more than once.

They mentioned a mandate from Scott Awkwardman that they should make the show longer. In reality, I think it is evidence that the boss-mans are throwing more support behind HH, and that they've been given more time in the studio. No more getting booted from the room when the Wolf Den comes strolling in swinging their giant [redacted]!

The idea that there is any real meanness in the show, especially this particular episode, is comical in the extreme. And not "loffity-loff" comical, but more like "eee-heh...eeewha?" comical. If I remember my Haim Slides, Hayes gushed about PFT (and LL, Benny Schwaz, etc) as being the best podcast guests because they are infallibly in on the joke and up for whatever you want them to do. Also, PFT is a repeat guest and he went on record with his HH super-fandom. Edit: I looked at this line again "Seems like you need to play dumb to play along, and it does come across as mean and sarcasm." So it isn't that they are being mean to each other, or that anyone on the show thinks there is any meanness, but rather that it comes across as mean to the listeners? Coming across as sarcasm is a huge part of the identity of the show (#itsnotabugitsafeature), and as for coming across as meanness, I think that shows that they are trusting the audience to be able to get jokes.

I am bored of them being themselves. I think it would really spice things up if they would be each other instead. Edit: Oooh, or each week they could try to personify a different animal, plant, or abstract concept, and we could try to guess it in the forum afterward!