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Spunky Foonerism

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Posts posted by Spunky Foonerism

  2. Posted

    Dennis is absolutely majestic, I want him to appear in the sky and give me advice.

    His spirit form is a hurricane, so that could easily be worked out. He's pretty wise and dignified, until you take a leash out, at which point he acts like a damn idiot. What kind of advice are you looking for? Here are a few freebies:

     

    On treats. "You are allowed to have a treat anytime something happens, like getting brushed, or your nails clipped, or if you bark at the mailman. It is worth a try to just stand looking at the door of the treat cabinet. It helps to be fluffy."

     

    On meals. "Try a little bit from each bowl. One might be way better than the other."

     

    On tricks. "Never let them know that you understand and know how to do a trick. Maybe if it's for a piece of salmon, but not for anything less than that."

     

    On cats. "They seem great, and I really want one. I probably won't eat it, but we won't know until we try! Give me a cat please."

    • Like 4

  4. Posted

    231047_218301161532892_5430565_n.jpg?oh=7d9de8fee5a9eb1bb0d8aaed535c2264&oe=5537ECC9&__gda__=1428901476_bda4c037fc255ef254240814ef2b2fe9

     

    Here's another photo proving that both Ross and Hurricane Dennis live with me. The third dog is Jackson, my wife's dog. He dead. :mellow:

     

    PS it's an old photo. I wear shirts now, and also have a grown-up sofa. My wife made me get it. She's also the one who makes me wear shirts. This is what you have to look forward to, whippersnapperers. Go topless while you still can, and enjoy your sweet futon! Do it for me, and all the other old people with sofas that came from a god damned furniture store! Also play with your dogs a lot, because they get old some day. Play with your cats too, if they enjoy that. I don't know.

    • Like 4

  6. Posted

    This is Hurricane Dennis. He also thinks he's pretty great. He listens to podcasts, but he only likes Nerd Poker and the Jalen Rose Report. He's at least ten years old, and he had to have one of his legs cut off last spring because of cancer. It's really hard for him now, because when I give him a yogurt cup to lick out, he can't brace it between his front paws and it rolls away from him. That seems to be the only problem, but it's nothing to take lightly.

     

    10612776_939066782789656_7453045225235689413_n.jpg?oh=1a0bf7bf9ac825a49f4537ffccd24520&oe=552AB7EE&__gda__=1429770712_6415ba0c2a4c1e990eac610449952c99

     

    As I think about it, it is mostly harder for me, because I have to hold the yogurt cup until he's done licking it.

    • Like 14

  10. Posted

     

    It's kinda fun to see video of them after listening to their voices for so long. I loved watching Hayes' Those People videos. Check them out if you haven't yet.

     

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_ReHL8yLBk

     

    It was also fun last night to see video of fellow handbookheads. Piecing together the photos, voices, senses of humor, etc. into one actual human person...

     

    Just watched that youtube you suggested, and it WAS fun! I'm starting to buy into the "real" voice/face matchup...I think everything is going to be okay. On a related note, you guys probably have a certain idea about my appearance from the way I type my comments. If you see me in a google-hangout setting, it's going to blow your minds.

    I am NOT a 350lb black woman.

     

  11. Posted

    Just listened to some Haim Slides, and I listened on iTunes, which I never ever do. I have a vague notion that iTunes listens are more potent somehow. Anyway, I give Haim Slides one thumb up...on each hand! I need to go back and watch the forbidden video version though. I have a weird mental block because I saw S & H's photos without knowing which was which, and just assumed which voice came from which person for the first few weeks. Wrongly, as it turns out, but with absolute certainty. My brain resolutely persists in believing that Sean's voice HAS to be coming from that blonde guy. I'm totally serious about this - learning that Hayes is actually the blonde guy has messed me up and confused both my thoughts and my emotions about the podcast. To say nothing of deciding which one is my favorite host! Anyway, I hope that watching the video will either fix this problem or will send me spiraling into despair and loathing for the whole show. In the latter case, bye everybody, it's been real fun/confusing!

    • Like 3

  13. Posted

    do you mean a salmon burger sandwich?

    Hmm. Putting the burger between two pieces of bread would definitely make it easier to choke on.

     

    PS I feel like you are making a reference to the show, which I don't listen to, but I'm going to like it because I want you to like me. Quid pro bono, and lorem ipsum and all that.

     

    PPS Salmon burger sandwich! Hahahaha! That's hilarious for reasons that I totally understand!

    • Like 3

  14. Posted

    Even if you and Ska Talkerman both say the show isn't going to be cancelled, I can't help thinking, "But what if it is?" First of all, if it WAS cancelled, this is exactly how it would start: by unexpectedly not having a show for a week. Second of all, I don't have a followup.

     

    Honestly, it wouldn't bother me that much because I don't listen to the show, except I'm afraid that if it gets cancelled, then you all will stop hanging out in the forum and liking some of the things I write, and I'll have to go back to having friends in the real world. I'd rather choke on a salmon burger! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to make a salmon burger. I'm not planning to choke on it, yet, but I will if I have to.

    • Like 3

  15. Posted

    WHY IS NOBODY EXPLAINING WHAT A GOOGLE CHAT IS I'M GETTING SCARED

    I'm no expert, but I am getting the strong impression that it's like Chat Roulette, except it seems to rely very heavily on email addresses, and it isn't mandatory that all participants be masturbating. I think as long as at least one person is masturbating at all times the chat will be allowed to proceed.

    • Like 5

  17. Posted

    One mill = the number of legs on a millipede. Which can be anywhere from 34 to 750. So we could be in good shape already, depending on what species of "mill" we're talking about. I nominate Harpaphe haydeniana, which is snazzy looking and smells like almonds. The females have 62 legs, the males have 60 plus two legs that are modified into gonopods for transferring sperm. If we use this species, we're well over four mill already!

    250px-Harpaphe_haydeniana_002.jpg

    • Like 12

  18. Posted

    They're paying me to be here. You guys too, right?

    Ahah! So THAT's how you are able to afford to belong to all those expensive subscriber-only forums!

     

    I'm sponsored by Red Bull, so technically I'm not answerable to Sean or Hayes. That's why you'll only get the hottest, most honest takes from me.

     

    Edit: Speaking of hot, honest takes, I'm disappointed that there isn't a new show this week, but I hope that the guys are refreshing their energy to make an extra good show for next week. I don't care about ruffling feathers, that's just how I feel.

    • Like 2

  20. Posted

    The way I see it, now we have no choice but to discuss other podcasts for the next week. If we take this week-long betrayal as an opportunity to exact petty and disproportionately brutal revenge, then Sean and Hayes will undoubtedly learn the valuable lesson that fans are fickle and cruel, and will consequently never disappoint us again. So did anybody else listen to the Naked Scientist this week?

     

    Alternatively, we could hatch a plot to kidnap them and force them to perform a live show for us in the basement of an abandoned hospital. If we go this route, I'm going to have to insist that nobody who is involved can use their real name. Dibs on Bruce Reid Robinson II.

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