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Conan the Destroyer (1984)
VinsanityV22 posted a topic in Bad Movie RecommendationsI'm loving the Stallone love HDTGM has had so far when it comes to action movie icons, but eventually they'll have to look at way more Arnold Schwarzenegger movies too. And while 'Twins' and 'Kindergarten Cop' will almost certainly end up on HDTGM eventually, I want to put out Conan for consideration. Not the classic, 'Conan the Barbarian" - that movie is great. Weird, but great. No, no - 'Conan the Destroyer'. The 1984 sequel to the quiet, gritty, epic original that basically completely ignores all that and turns the tone on it's head; forcing Conan into a toothless, silly-looking Superman III/He-Man/Neverending Story-type escapade instead. It has ridiculous set pieces, tons of monsters created by sticking stuntguys in goofy suits, no blood despite many weapons (though if you're a fan of Arnold spinning his sword around for dramatic effect, this is the movie for you!), terrible dialogue (including a scene with an awful sex talk to a "child princess" who's clearly too old to need this kind of talk), the most dramatic window smashing scene in history (suck it, Enter the Dragon), and a terrible cast of characters. It's got Wilt Chamberlain AND Grace Jones in major roles for crissakes! It's weird and disappointing EVEN IF YOU GOT OVER how different in tone this film is from it's predecessor and the future Jason Momoa Conan. Let's take a look, shall we: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3wxGswacJo P.S. I haven't seen it, but I'm also pretty sure that the Conan prequel, "Kull, the Conquerer" - starring Kevin Sorbo, TV's Hercules - should also be terrible.