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With Halloween approaching, this would be ideal HDTGM candidate. It is an epic fail on all levels that was inexplicably made by a legend in the genre, John Carpenter. It is by far Carpenter's worst film and apparently the only one he refuses to speak about. If his version of "The Thing" is considered the greatest remake of all time, then he has the distinction of also directing the worst. The children are laughable, the acting is abysmal (except for Chris Reeve) and it is loaded with a Who's Who of B -Listers: Kirstie Alley, Luke Skywalker, Crocodile Dundee's wife and the dude from Streets of Fire. The whole thing screams "You're paying me in cash, right?" As far as unintentional comedy goes, this one is off the charts. Please make this happen.

Since the Red Dawn remake is on the verge of being unleashed upon the world like so much Commie propaganda, I figure it might be a good idea to examine the awfulness that was the original, or doing a joint episode where both are dissected for comedic effect. I have not seen the remake, obviously, but I'm pretty confident from the trailer that it's going to be not-so-good. North Korea invades the US, huh? Sounds likely! "How DID this get made?" indeed. Just mocking the original would be wonderful. It has Patrick Swayze and Charlie Sheen as siblings, Swayze's future 'Dirty Dancing' co-star Jennifer Grey, C. Thomas Howell, Lea Thompson, Harry Dean fucking Stanton, and Powers Boothe being manly while talking around a camp fire. Are there age-inappropriate/potentially statutory rape-ish googly eyes made in Powers Boothe's direction? Hell yes! The plot is basically a series of militarily impossible situations that have the Keystone Cops of the Soviet Union and their dirty Mexican Latin American allies invading the US via the choke-point of American power: Calumet, Colorado. With the help of John Milius's dicrtion and screenplay, it all adds up to the least subtle bit of Reagan-era propaganda this side of a 'Just Say No' after school special.