Cosmopolis (2012)

[forestwhitakerseyes 0]

There are two kinds of pretentious movies;

 

Pretentious and Good.

Example, Seventh Seal. Everyone on set all understood what they are talking about and were able to engage in the subject matter and come up with important things to say on the subject. And the director is gifted enough to make something entertaining out of this.

 

Pretentious and Horrific.

Cosmopolis; At no point do you get the impression that anybody on set had any idea what the movie was about. This movie is just a bunch of bad actors spouting cold dead lines from indifferent faces and hoping that what they are saying makes any kind of sense.

 

Then Paul Giamatti is around for a minute or two. Then the movie is over.

 

Nobody says a single line that was worth saying. The whole thing just tumbles along occasionally referencing all the infinitley more interesting things happening around the car.

 

And the worst thing is; that is the point of the movie.

Someone first wrote a book about how money has isolated someone from everything. And it was the most boring and pointless thing ever written. And then someone decided to spend millions making a flim about this and paid actors who all left to go make more interesting movies (like a remake or total recall?). And still nobody realised that this movie is probably a bad idea? Seriously?

 

This is the most disheartening waste of time ever committed to film.

 

The only thing even slightly redeemable about this is Paul Giammati. But even then you can tell that he is just trying to re-enact the scene from the simpsons where Homer reveals the secret of the flaming moe.

 

The most infuriating thing about the movie is that it somehow got good reviews. All because it was written by Don De Lillo????

 

Please do an episode on this.

[Lando 2019]

This movie is waaaaaaaay too boring to be an entertaining episode of HDTGM

[Kream15 11]

I was told to watch this movie to accept Robert Pattinson as Bruce Wayne.....

No. Don't watch this. Nothing happens. 

And I'm still not convinced he's going to be good as the new Batman