The Adjustment Bureau

[qmyers2 0]

The movie starts with a twenty-minute montage of David Norris (Matt Damon) climbing the political summit. Out of nowhere (I’m tapping my nose) someone leaks a story of him mooning his friends in college and he loses the ENTIRE ELECTION. As he is planning his speech he meets Elise (Emily Blunt) and the two instantly fall in love. She is loose and wild and he is the opposite, because opposites attract.

 

But not if the Adjustment Bureau has anything to say about it! They hate love! Everything must go according to plan! Do you smell the primary complication of the plot?! They don’t explain why they want to keep David and Elise apart until about three-quarters through the movie, so I’ll tell you right now. It’s because if he stays with Elise he’ll never become president of the United States and then the world will (probably) blow up, because he is the only person that can be president, and president of America = almost God. Also thrown in there randomly is that they have been drawn to each other ever since the beginning of time, kind of like in Hancock.

 

More about the Adjustment Bureau itself. Although they can move things by pointing at them, read people’s minds (or "sense decision making" – yeah, don’t ask me) and know everyone’s predestined plan, they do most of their influencing via text messaging. For example, instead of just killing Elise, they will send text messages telling her to go somewhere else. Another fun and retarded detail about the Bureau is that they only have powers while wearing their stupid little fedora hats (Andre!), and walk through closets (?).

 

And finally, they never completely explain their motives or anything for that matter. When David asks the guys why they do this, or what it’s all about they just say “because that’s the way it is.” Fan-tas-tic plot device. The old “the reason we’re doing these things is because we do them” routine. The movie utilizes this cop-out a few times, but my favorite is when David asks why they call the “boss” guy “The Chairman” and they simply reply, “Because that’s what we call him, you might call him something else.” Oh, so maybe it’s God. Wow, so deep.

 

But wait, it probably is God. In a few sentences they gloss over predestination philosophy saying, “we let humans control, but then there was the Cold War and Democrats, so we can’t let that happen ever again. Which for some reason is why we can’t let you fingerbang Elise.”

 

So the main focus of the story is “love will prevail.” Which (shocker) it does. Somehow the two manage to not forget each other over a span of three years, and even break off weddings. Love is real, people.

 

But David Norris doesn’t give up on love. He throws away possibility at being the President, and stands in opposition to The Chairman himself. Just to make sure they utilize every lazy plot device available, The Adjustment Bureau ends in a sort of deus ex machina fashion; David has convinced The Chairman to change his mind, and he lets the two lovers be together. Hey, that was easy! Love wins! Freedom of Choice and Love! If only the Adjustment Bureau put on their fedoras and give me the last 2 hours of my life back. ZingZINGzIGNZINGINSZIN!!!!

[IMAHUGEHDTGMFAN 1837]

The only people that I could see liking this movie are politicians that are deep into their careers and want to get out of them but can't seem to find a way to do it... Bad movie is BAD!