Reach Me

[rickward 0]

Two Stallones, Danny Trejo, cameos aplenty and a script that makes NO SENSE. Here's a link to the trailer.

It's released October 24--I don't know if that's theatrical or home video or both.

 

By the way, the trailer makes it look like a drama... IT'S NOT.

[Big McLargehuge 31]

"You're a finger painting! BE A MASTERPIECE!" -Literary Agent (?) / Rage Painter played by Sly Stallone

 

This movie has Lauren Cohen in it from The Walking Dead. She has a hair lip scar that the movie takes time to point out, then forget about. Her character also had a stutter before being cured by Tom Berenger yelling at her while baptizing her in the ocean (or something) because that's how you cure stutters. Then during the credits, her credit flashes a-rhythmically onto the screen reminding you about the stutter.

Tom Jane plays a gun-slinging cop who never has to fill out paperwork for all the people he shoots.

Danny Aiello is the drunk priest that he confesses to instead of filling out paperwork.

Tom Sizemore shows up as something.

Then Kelsey Grammer shows up.

Kelsey… FUCKING… Grammer!

(Where my Grammer Nazis at?!)

Then you'll be watching and then be like, "Wait… Is that Stallone's brother?"

 

I've barely touched on the craziness of this thing. It's like Crash mixed with something much worse than Crash.

 

I support this choice.

[Merkin Muffley 24]

How is Al Pacino NOT IN THIS MOVIE?????

[splunge 1]

The speech Sly Stallone makes while he is "painting" what appears to be a giant vagina is the most amazingly bad thing I've seen/heard in a movie in a long time. This movie seems like it was made specifically for HDTGM. So many known actors (Kyra Sedgewick, Cary Elwes, and Terry Crews are among those who haven't been mentioned yet - and these are not just cameos!?!) and so many nonsensical plots combine to make the most WTF mainstream movie this year. I challenge anyone to figure out what message the movie is trying to convey.

[Big McLargehuge 31]

This opens in theaters today. 22 on metacritic.

 

Can we just talk about this clip below?

 

http://www.rottentom...ailer/11205736/

 

(When assaulting Sally Kellerman and her daughter or whatever, no matter how many men you have, sniper cover is a necessity.)

[splunge 1]

Tom Jane's cool, though.

 

(Down to 21 on Metacritic)

[Big McLargehuge 31]

Now available on home video!

 

(I think I'm pressing this issue because I want other people to see it so I know I didn't imagine watching this insane thing.)