Lists of Scott's "rules" to life

[Bernard_Shakey 3484]

Can we start a sub-thread with a list of Scott's rules to live his life?

Like how every restaurant should just be called restaurant.

And how he'll only go to a show if he has front row, center seats.

There's more. What else, what else?

[Bernard_Shakey 3484]

 

Titles of movies shouldn't be any form of spoilers

[Bernard_Shakey 3484]

 

Songs cannot have titles—just Track 1, Track 2, etc.

 

His opinions on public toilets. Which are very confusing.

Never let it mellow!

 

"Words that sound alike even though they have different meanings, they should mean the same thing."

 

 

OBVIOUSLY no restaurants should have names b/c that would be a spoiler. It should just be, "Hey, I'm going to Restaurant 3,998,552. Wanna come?" And you don't find out what type of restaurant it is until you get there.

 

I have to strongly disagree, because the order the restaurant was built has just been spoiled. Unless that number is completely randomized, then I think you're right on the money. Although knowing that it's a restaurant is a bit of a spoiler itself...

Pretty sure it was in the Paul Banks episode, and he said songs should be as long as the events the lyrics describe took to play out. I was surprised that they didn't mention it at the time, but this would mean that One Week by The Barenaked Ladies would be one week long.

[Bever Hopox 371]

-People born in the 50s are 50 now. People born in the 60s are 60.

-People's names should be who they are, i.e. Peter Graves (he's dead), Will Acting is my Forte (he's an actor).

[denimgremlin 1179]

you can do any crime but you have to do the time first (also, the time for murder is apparently now 27 years)

 

this may not work though because people would be lining up to do illegal things to Scarlett Johanson

[Jotchua 431]

-To get married you must break up with your current girlfriend/boyfriend, even if they're the person you're marrying.

 

-Dogs have pedigrees and so do TV shows. Those are the two things with pedigrees.

 

-Grading should be C-, C or C+

 

 

 

 

 

*edited to add more

Edited October 15, 2014 by Jotchua

[Jotchua 431]

From today's UTU2TM?, both Scott and Scott agreed that until you turn 23 someone can tie you up and do anything to you. When you turn 23 other people can no longer do whatever they want to you.

 

Let me know if UTU2TM? is non-canonical.

[Bernard_Shakey 3484]

From today's UTU2TM?, both Scott and Scott agreed that until you turn 23 someone can tie you up and do anything to you. When you turn 23 other people can no longer do whatever they want to you.

 

Let me know if UTU2TM? is non-canonical.

As far as I know it's still canonical,

...that is if George Lucas hasn't mucked it up with his grimey hands yet.

[Jotchua 431]

From the Stain'd Glass ep of UTU2TM?:

 

If a word sounds like another word, it should mean the same thing. (e.g. Purveyor = Perverted, Shoot = Shit)

[Bernard_Shakey 3484]

Jokes should be watermarked, the minute anyone says them. - Ep318

[TheBlackSpank 137]

Now that Don Pardo is dead, they should only hire cast members with combinations of the names of previous cast members, hosts, and musical guests. Examples: Chevy Poehler, Tina Baldwin, Casey Red Hot Chili Peppers

[Kickpuncher 5012]

Any time someone says the name of a TV show, you should sing the theme song.

[Bever Hopox 371]

In every returning sitcom they should go around the room and acknowledge that every character had a birthday since the previous year. -Ep312

[Optimum Corridor 32]

For every prank that is played on them, one year is shaved off a person's life. - Episode 287

[Bever Hopox 371]

Saturday Night Live should be people reading the sketches for the very first time. Ep225

 

(Do opinions count as rules. This one was was his opinion.)

[Bernard_Shakey 3484]

I'll allow it.

But watch yourself counselor!

[Kickpuncher 5012]

The one about Don Pardo was also more of an opinion than a 'rule'. Scott sure has a lot of opinions about Saturday Night Live, including that the name doesn't make sense. "SaturdayDAY Night Live"?

[Charlie Murphy Brown 4977]

If your dress ever dries, the bus blows up. (Specifically applicable to Sandra Bullock in a Speed scenario) Ep318

[Jotchua 431]

Via the Choctaw's twitter, "The World Series should be seven games every year, and whoever wins the last one just takes the whole series."

[denimgremlin 1179]

anyone who even uses a gun should be executed (with a gun)

[Optimum Corridor 32]

If someone in a TV show you're watching has died since the recording, a red "D" for "dead" appears in the credits beside their name. Or, as Simon Pegg suggested, a freeze frame when they appear on screen, then rubber stamp "DEAD" over the frame. - Episode 240

[Kickpuncher 5012]

"Bed stores should let you go to sleep overnight." (Episode #BO2014.3)

[EveMartusewicz 1]

Every song should have sound effects so we know what they're talking about (e.g. a frog ribbit in Jeremiah was a Bullfrog). Ep 258

[Bernard_Shakey 3484]

They should introduce a bill where every public bathroom has to be either all automated or all manual "across the board"

-Who Charted ep214

[SteveH 11126]

Scott should probably do a companion segment to 'New No No's' called 'New Laws or Regulations'