EPISODE 108 — The We Don't Need Hayes Show with "Jeff Dunham"

[Joe Lerini 7329]

 

oh geez. it's like a regular Jessie and AC Slater over here

 

Please don't bring my caffeine pill addiction into this.

[ole_swerdlow 145]

Any of you forum ladies calling into The Best Show with Eggs tonite?

 

it was during my call last week that tom got frustrated about all the dude callers and declared this week to be all-female all-the-time. so i helped feminism i think.

 

or maybe i hurted masculanism.

[elizamuffins 4228]

My family insists on calling me Lizzy even though I insist that they call me eLIZamuffins. I am kind of like Hayes in that no one respects me and things are better when I am not around only actually I have a really kind heart and you are gonna miss me when I am gone!

[Joe Lerini 7329]

 

this post piqued my interest, so I clicked the link to listen to this previously ignored post. I'm at work, so I plugged my headphones into my laptop, but for some reason the sound still came out of the speakers, so this is probably my last day at this job. Thanks a lot.

 

Thanks for listening!

 

Liek if yuo cryed when Sean and Hayes stopped fighting and made up

 

I didn't. But I did cry watching Word Girl with my 2 year old niece, and Word Girl made up with her best friend. Does that count?

[nohorseman 5423]

I am kind of like Hayes in that no one respects me and things are better when I am not around only actually I have a really kind heart and you are gonna miss me when I am gone!

Yo, less with the life-affirming, more with the baby-having!

 

Who am I to be the forum police I don't even post that much but:

 

What is going on with these terrible posts. These are real people you're "joking" about, people with feelings. People you KNOW read this stuff.

 

Listen to Sean on Haim Slides before you hit send on anything that "jokes" about one host better than the other.

 

And Joe, this bit sucks.

 

Heh, hump day, amiright folks?

[Joe Lerini 7329]

And Joe, this bit sucks.

You're right, I'm sorry.

 

EDIT: Sorry to Ashley, as well. You really are cool and I didn't mean to hurt feelings with that dumb joke.

[nohorseman 5423]

ilu joe

[mwn 5470]

edit: changed my name/avatar to a Thxgiving theme. any likes you wanna give relating to that can go on this post please and thanks. thats a giblet in the bottom left corner. its pretty disgusting.

 

it is truly insane and fucked up to me that you didn't go with turkysandwich

[Joe Lerini 7329]

ilu joe

You're a good dude.

[thejjar 5031]

Should I go with thejjarvest or thejjarofCranberrySauce or thejjarving of the turkey, or am I not even funny and you guys have better ideas?

 

Edit: the political jjargument?

[chicknsandwich 2495]

 

it is truly insane and fucked up to me that you didn't go with turkysandwich

 

chickn is my brand. sandwich is more of an adjunct to the chickn.

 

also turkey sandwich is rather blasé

[AshleyChupp 3958]

 

EDIT: Sorry to Ashley, as well. You really are cool and I didn't mean to hurt feelings with that dumb joke.

 

I appreciate this, friend.

[Houston 4819]

 

Who am I to be the forum police?

 

 

In recognition of your service you are hereby deputized.

 

 

Protect and Serve good man.

[skizelo 2536]

It'd be funny to me if everyone on here switched to christmas avis and names, or had done so 4 days ago. Anyway, thanks for posting the Hayes anecdote from TBS, that's pretty funny.

[Joe Lerini 7329]

But TBS is supposed to be "very funny."

[SteveH 11126]

Can you believe there's christmas stuff out already? Halloween is barely over! It seems like it comes earlier and earlier every year!

 

-this has been a conversation you will overhear in a store at least 5 times over the next few weeks

[elizamuffins 4228]

 

Who am I to be the forum police I don't even post that much but:

 

What is going on with these terrible posts. These are real people you're "joking" about, people with feelings. People you KNOW read this stuff.

 

Listen to Sean on Haim Slides before you hit send on anything that "jokes" about one host better than the other.

 

And Joe, this bit sucks.

 

Heh, hump day, amiright folks?

Don't you get it?

 

Hayes is really important and great. Sean just didn't see it. The way my loved ones still don't. They haven't discovered my worth yet but Sean coming around gives me hope.

 

This is why podcasts are the best.

 

I was about to drive my car right into a tree and then podcast saved my life.

 

 

PS-actually not 100% sure I love my family. Obviously I love my kids and my boyfriend but the rest of them....I might be having a change of heart.

 

PPS-My boyfriend proposed to me tonight. He proposed that when my internship is over and I start working for real money maybe I can start helping with the bills. Should I say yes?

 

And one more thing...

 

What do you guys think about this new Who Charted format?

Edited November 5, 2015 by eLIZamuffins

[nohorseman 5423]

Hayes is really important and great. Sean just didn't see it. The way my loved ones still don't. They haven't discovered my worth yet but Sean coming around gives me hope.

 

ok this is much better I forgive you

 

you should say yes if your boyfriend is nice and communicative and you've thoroughly discussed what marriage would mean to both of you and you think each of you can provide it for the other and you love each other and he agrees that howl had a p bad launch

[robotam 4493]

I was thinking there could be a joke that is like "what's the difference between [bLANK] and [bLANK]?" (But with words instead of [bLANK]s) The joke would have the punchline

"One's Jeff Dunham and the others Deaf Jon Hamm."

 

 

 

But it MUSTN'T make fun of the hearing impaired.

 

Maybe the punchline could be "One's Jeff Dunham and the others Death, Jon Hamm." But then the joke would need a set up, were you somehow trick the person you are telling the joke to, into thinking that they are the star of Mad Men.

[nohorseman 5423]

hmm just workshoppin here with ya, anything here?:

 

Which celebrity uses puppets and only appeals to racial bigots and which celebrity used to be on Mad Men and brings the house down Live from the Apollo?

 

The former is Jeff Dunham and the latter is Def Jon Ham

 

edit: now that I think about it Def Comedy Jam and Live from the Apollo are probably different things, so I'm not really helping

[Joe Lerini 7329]

Jon Hamm.

Def Comedy Jam.

 

There's something you can do with that, right?

[Joe Lerini 7329]

Ooh, how 'bout this one?

 

"What's the difference between an unfunny ventriloquist and a Sith Lord at an advertising firm?

 

One's Jeff Dunham and the other's Darth Jon Hamm!"

[Silvrwoman 4998]

I was thinking there could be a joke that is like "what's the difference between [bLANK] and [bLANK]?" (But with words instead of [bLANK]s) The joke would have the punchline

"One's Jeff Dunham and the others Deaf Jon Hamm."

 

 

 

But it MUSTN'T make fun of the hearing impaired.

 

Maybe the punchline could be "One's Jeff Dunham and the others Death, Jon Hamm." But then the joke would need a set up, were you somehow trick the person you are telling the joke to, into thinking that they are the star of Mad Men.

 

What's the difference between an unfunny person and a person who never hears people say, "you are funny"

One's Jeff Dunham and the others Deaf Jon Hamm

[robotam 4493]

These are all really, really good.

[nohorseman 5423]

I found a fun joke seed we can riff off, too. Also if you're JustAddPepper go ahead an skip this post

 

I was checking to see if the Drake & Future mixtape might be interesting, and the

was all:

 

Drake the type of (fellow) to stick his dick in between his legs and look in the mirror

Drake the type of (fellow) to stop at a redlight on GTA

Drake the type of (fellow) that pays for porn because he wants to be fair.

Drake the type of (fellow) to take the frosting off a cupcake because they look better without makeup

Drake the type of (fellow) to go to a party early so he can help set up

 

So what do you all got!?