This is a test. For the next thirty seconds, this station will conduct a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. This is only a test. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

[Pure Guava 325]

This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. Broadcasters, in cooperation with the FCC and other authorities have developed this system to keep you informed in the event of an emergency

 

If this had been an actual emergency, the Attention Signal you just heard would have been followed by official information, news, or instructions

 

This concludes this test of the Emergency Broadcast System. Oh, and one more thing. FART.