Max SilvestrI, Our Close Friend

[CiscoKid 1973]

The boys are in studio yukkin it up with their dude Max, good times had by all for certain

[urinalcake 1645]

I like this one.

[BrillGrungerson 1365]

Nice try CiscoKid. When Scott Ankerman see's this he's gonna be sooooo pissed

[The Shrekronomicon 397]

C'mon, C.K., not just anyne can do that. You didn't format the title correctly or use the official episode description. If you want thread starting powers, you gotta wake up PRET-TY early, and have a Howl.fm account to verify your info. Pull it together man, you're better than this.

[CiscoKid 1973]

I'm sorry shrek

[beeface 1804]

maybe it's just the adrenaline i get from posting in em, but i'm addicted to these unsanctioned bootleg threads

[urinalcake 1645]

I'm with you beef. I like putting on a pair of undersized panties and scrolling up and down through these threads. Contributing just puts me over the edge.

 

 

Woopsie daisy

[Charlie Murphy Brown 4977]

good ep. good thread. it will be due to daring efforts such as these if we're ever able to overtake HDTGM

 

I'm with you beef.

 

I'd always assumed it was bee face. oh well, here's to the mysteries of life

 

[Charlie Murphy Brown 4977]

Ok look, here's what I'm thinking, everybody loves a Christmas miracle, right? If we can get Cisco's thread to surpass the "real" thread (no offense Dalton) then we will triumph and live in infamy, our names etched upon the winds of immortality. Normally this would be a daunting task, but with the holidays and the numbers down it is totally possible. If we each somehow found a way to post ten times then we're right in the hunt. One motivated mind could actually do it alone, though that's asking a lot. I would love to take the lead on this but I've got too much going already. And don't worry, the posts hardly have to make sense, but it's a bonus if they do. Don't lose sight of the goal, the bigger picture. You can count on the others to toss around a few likes to make it worthwhile, although we all know that this goes far beyond some menial bump in credentials. I'm pretty sure that only CiscoKid and the rest of us even know of this thread's existence, so we should be able to proceed unencumbered. We may eventually get some bigtime forum people to bandwagon onto our cause, at that point we say-

 

Join us Friends, in making CiscoKid's Amazing Forum Christmas Miracle come true!!

[The Shrekronomicon 397]

What do you guys know about Christmas ghosts?

[Charlie Murphy Brown 4977]

I heard you first had to be a live Christmas person in order to then turn into a dead Christmas ghost.

 

Considering a career change?

[The Shrekronomicon 397]

Oh-ho-ho-ho not AT ALL! In fact you dont even have to be a person at all! Animals can be ghosts and even things that are just stuff, like a doll can be ghosts. To be sure, Scrooge didn't see Marley as a person. Simply a means to an end. But he learned that its not always the ending that matters, but what your story is before the ending happens. I had no choice in MY career change, but I'm not a ghost and I dont think that pays particularly well. Have you ever tried buying food with rattling chains? They shopkeepers look at you like you're full-onn bananna nut muffins CRAZY! but this being Christmas Eve-Eve and all, maybe we can help CiscoKid get his miracle with some good old-fashioned campfire tales. See I'm a product of the Nightmare Before Christmas and the two holidays share a special relationship in my mind. I'm sure the world's first zombie man would understand the notion of his birthday being a time for getting spooked. It makes at much sense as his book-club fans wearing necklaces of that tree he died on that one time. So how about it gang? Are you afraid of no ghosts, or aren't you?

[CiscoKid 1973]

I just wanna say thanks guys, and I'll try to do my part, cause living forever in infamy is great cause I'm a scared of ghosts, Christmas, animal, human, alien, whatev

[The Shrekronomicon 397]

I will start, but lets bounce this around and see if we can get so scared of the Oobie Boogies under our armoires and behind our closets that we stay up all Christmas Eve and give Santa Man a high five. I hope he isn't too cheezed that I haven't got milk and cookies. He can have some leftover wonton soup and a bottle of Coffiest Soylent if he wants, though.

 

Turn on your night lights, people. Here we go!

_______

 

 

~TITLE TBD (a scary holiday yarn)

by me

 

It was the coldest winter that Portabello could ever remember. He was only 3 but to a dog, thats old enough to get drunk, and little PB was ready to warm up with a nice eggnog by the fire. He had just gotten back from the grocery store. He hopped out of his Toyota Tundra and was trotting towards the front door with the bags tied together and hanging over either side of his back as he fumbled to find the keys to the front door of the victorian mansion in the mountains of Pennsylvania that he had recently inherited from his great aunt whod been put to sleep that past Spring. Turning the antique skeleton key with his teeth a particularly cool breeze made him squint his eyes all cute and shake the snow out of his ear fur. Eager to get a fire going Portabello used both paws to carefully pour the entirety of the eggnog and wiskey into a large beer stein and set it town on the table next to his favorite armchair, a Morpheus-esque little number with the winged sides and everything, when he heard a knock at the door. He had yet to meet any of the neighbors since moving in so he wondered who it could be...

[beeface 1804]

What do you guys know about Christmas ghosts?

a lot

[Charlie Murphy Brown 4977]

I just wanna say thanks guys, and I'll try to do my part

 

We're only following your lead Cisco. Hopefully beeface, urinalcake and Weiser will make a good showing as well

 

Turn on your night lights, people. Here we go!

 

Be careful Shrek, you don't want to be making too much sense or people will get suspicious that you've hired Stephen King as a ghostwriter for your twisted tale, which could jeopardize the whole operation. But please do carry on

[Charlie Murphy Brown 4977]

beeface, if you don't mind me asking, are you an Australian citizen or do you just live there?

[The Shrekronomicon 397]

His first thought was that it might be that bastard of a mailman come to finish him off once and for all. That man always had murder in his eyes. Portabello had already finished his Christmas shopping though, and wasnt expecting any Amazon Prime deliveries...especially at this hour. Just to be certain though, he quietly set down the stein and approached the door as silently as he could before letting out a psychotic series of yips and barkies to scare away that scoundrel as usual. When another knock came, undeterred by this display of power, he became curious who this bold individual could be and began scratching frantically at the wood below the knob before finally flinging it open enthusiastically. "FRIEND OR FOE?!," he demanded while maintaining a polite open-mouthed grin on his face, tongue lolling charmingly out the side. There was a young human woman standing there, a hand-knitted scarf completing a fashion-savvy outfit despite this ungodly weather. "Oh who's a good boy!," she bubbled. "I think youve got the wrong house, miss," he said flirtatiously "but the name's Portabello. Don't worry though, I don't bite. What can I do for ya' this evening?" The chandelier overhead flickered in a ghost way. 'Gotta remember to check that breaker box, those are brand new bulbs' he thought to himself. "My car battery died, or something! do you know anything about cars?" she asked.

[CiscoKid 1973]

tfw Christmas eve and you're a cat

[beeface 1804]

beeface, if you don't mind me asking, are you an Australian citizen or do you just live there?

 

Hi Charlie Murphy Brown,

 

Thank you for checking if I mind you asking or not. For the record: I don't mind.

 

I am a citizen of Australia

[beeface 1804]

tfw Christmas eve and you're a cat

 

relateable af

[Charlie Murphy Brown 4977]

Just finished wrapping all my presents. Got some pop rocks for my brother's kids (he has 5) just as a little treat, hardly a gift, you know. So I wrapped the pop rocks then put them in the bottom of a shoe box beneath an old sneaker, then wrapped that shoe box up and put it in a larger shoe box which I also wrapped. This package I put down in the bottom of a very large box my desk came in (looks like the size of a foosball or mini-air hockey table) and put a layer of plastic bags over the wrapped shoe boxes. Then I took another slimmer box and put an old oily rag in there and wrapped it up and put it closer to the top of the large box so the kids will find it first. Then I shoved in some more plastic bags and finally wrapped up the large box. Now I'm thinking of printing out some "Fragile handle with care" "Caution: Contains hazardous material" or "Beware of dog" signs but I might just do a nice bow so they don't suspect anything. The plan is to let them open it later in the day, hopefully building up the anticipation. They will be getting real gifts tomorrow so I don't think they will overreact. I mean, pop rocks are pretty great so everyone wins

[Charlie Murphy Brown 4977]

Nice avatar Shrek. though I'm not sure what it has to do with The Shrek, or ronomicon either for that matter

 

Cisco, what's going on with the last letter of Max's last name in the thread title? Is that a capital i or lowercase L? Either way it's great because an error like only adds to the value of this thread. Similar to mistakes on baseball cards. In a couple years we may be able to get like a buck fifty for this thing

[urinalcake 1645]

Beef, are you the one that punched the roo? Better be careful beefypoo.

 

I'll say it again, because some of my haters refused to a knowledge the first time, but... I like this one.

[urinalcake 1645]

Just finished wrapping all my presents. Got some pop rocks for my brother's kids (he has 5) just as a little treat, hardly a gift, you know. So I wrapped the pop rocks then put them in the bottom of a shoe box beneath an old sneaker, then wrapped that shoe box up and put it in a larger shoe box which I also wrapped. This package I put down in the bottom of a very large box my desk came in (looks like the size of a foosball or mini-air hockey table) and put a layer of plastic bags over the wrapped shoe boxes. Then I took another slimmer box and put an old oily rag in there and wrapped it up and put it closer to the top of the large box so the kids will find it first. Then I shoved in some more plastic bags and finally wrapped up the large box. Now I'm thinking of printing out some "Fragile handle with care" "Caution: Contains hazardous material" or "Beware of dog" signs but I might just do a nice bow so they don't suspect anything. The plan is to let them open it later in the day, hopefully building up the anticipation. They will be getting real gifts tomorrow so I don't think they will overreact. I mean, pop rocks are pretty great so everyone wins

 

That's how my mommy got me to eat my carrots chuck. Keep up the good work.