“She’s so heavy”, he thought to himself, as Lovely Rita ran and won the Hundred Meter, but made a mess out of Maxwell’s Silver Hammer-Throw.

[ShatteusPantswellTheTurd 4]

Olympics?

Oh-Limp-Dicks? 

Ol’-Pimp-Tricks?

however you spell it, that shit cost me twenty grand. Never bet on a girl whose name rhymes with her menial law enforcement position and  who unironically ran in the one Olympic event that could almost be used to make a shitty pun using some of her name and occupation and a descriptive adjective describing her appearance.

maxwell’s silver hammer is his penis, by the way. Beatles are Charles manson’s Inner demons