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BesidesIllegal

A rant about the disappointing quality of the catchphrase submissions that turns into the WIlly Wonka tunnel boat speech (Read in post)

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*sigh*....Can I be honest with you guys for a minute? Before we start the show. I know we keep it pretty loose and fun here, but sometimes it has to get serious if the show is going to work. So before we get to our guests, and we've got some great guests, I need to let you listeners know that the catchphrases....the catchphrases are done. I'm done. No more catchphrases. That's a new rule. A new no-no, as friend of the show Paul Rust would say. Why? I spent at least 25 minutes today looking for a funny catchphrase, and found nothing. And that's not my fault. That's your fault. And ya know what? Maybe I wouldn't feel so let down, so defeated, if it was harder. Because it isn't asking a lot. It really isn't. One phrase. One funny phrase. I wish that was all I had to do to be on this show. I have a real job to do. For you. You listeners, you greedy little street urchins, running up to me and begging for podcasts every week, and what do I do? Every week I put my blood, sweat and tears in this show, chew it up, and spit it back into your gaping maws like a mama bird. And in return, all I want is one fucking joke! Not even a good joke! Half of these are just random bullshit and mediocre nicknames! "Hot Boxerman"? What does that even mean? Do I not please you? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?! IS THERE NO GOD, NO JUSTICE?! Is it raining, is it snowing?! Is a hurricane a-blowing?! And not a speck of light is showing! So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-glowing? Is the grisly reaper mowing? Yes, the danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And they're certainly not showing, any signs that they are slowing!

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At which point Scott must break down and transform, Huell Howser style, into a Scottabot-bot.

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