Jersey Shore Shark Attack!

[BroccoliRob 78]

With the final season of Jersey Shore over and done, I'm certain many of you are like me, wondering what can fill the Seaside-shaped hole in my heart. I ask myself, "What will I watch?" no longer able to laugh at Pauly D and Vinny's crazy adventures, ride the emotional roller coaster of Ronnie and Sammi's relationship, and grow with Snooki and the Situation as they deal with the realities of motherhood and sobriety.

 

Fear not, for I have found the best movie ever: Jersey Shore Shark Attack! With brilliantly written characters such as The Complication (cause when ladies see his abs, things get complicated, LOL!), Donnie, Balzac, Nooki, J-Moni, and BJ. Not only do they have to deal with the rich kid's dad trying to replace Seaside Heights with country clubs, but now they have to not get eaten by sharks! With awesome cameos by Joey Fatone (from the popular band 'NSync!) and Vinny (from the hit TV show Jersey Shore!)! Follow the crazy adventures of The Complication as he tries to balance his love life with not getting eaten by a shark! With special effects rivaling Avatar, this cinematic work of art is a must see! 10 out of 10 stars!!!

[Hayzie Bone 843]

BroccoliRob: sorry for only getting to this now. It and you deserve better. Will you answer some questions for me please:

 

-Who is Balzac? Is that supposed to be Pauly D? Is the character actually Honore de Balzac, the 19th century French realist?

 

-Same questions for "BJ." Is that supposed to be "DJ" Pauly D? Who is this?

 

-How did they make the characters seem like they were played by people? This is assuming that they couldn't get any real people to be in the movie. Did they use computers or traditional animation?

 

-Never mind: I looked it up and see that Paul Sorvino and the EPA agent from Ghostbusters are both in it.

[BroccoliRob 78]

Good questions!

 

Balzac is indeed a pastiche of our favorite DJ, Pauly D. As for the meaning of the name 'Balzac,' that remains a mystery. My guess is that it is deliberately left ambiguous so that each viewer can make his or her own interpretation.

 

The character BJ is a visual copy of Sammi Sweetheart, but acts more like Deena. I'm not sure where they came up with the name though. Here's my best guess: the actress who ended up playing BJ (Audi Resendez) originally tried out for the part of Balzac (Pauly D). The casting director was supportive because, as everyone knows, guido culture holds gender equality in the highest regards. In the end, she didn't get the part, but as an inside joke they named her character BJ (which is similar to DJ, which is Pauly D's profession).

 

If all of this isn't enough to make you jump up from your computer and head to your nearest Redbox and rent this movie, I leave you with this brilliant gem. Jersey Shore had GTL (Gym, Tan, Laundry) and Jersey Shore Shark Attack has ASS: Alcohol, Sun, and Sex!