AshleyChupp

hey did u guys know happily married comics-writing power couple kelly sue deconnick and matt fraction met each other by posting on the same online message board and now they are famous and successful and still in love 14 years later? i'm just saying. okay bye.

happy birthday, ashley!!! i am so jealous of how funny and cool u are. i wish I could be just like u! have a great birthday being really popular and successful! i love you!

Dear HayesandSean, thank you so much for delivering this funny good episode with my fellow improv comedy star, matthew besser to my phone this morning. i really love and appreciate it. i think you may have gotten the date wrong though. my birthday is actually tomorrow! no worries though. we'll just call this a bonus and you can send me another one tomorrow. sincerely, ashley

i'm an anarchist so i will not vote nor will i read the last several pages of confusing oligarchical bullshit. #maketheforumslegibleagain ps- nobody nominate me as your trump-or-sanders-esque advocate for true reform. i will not accept the nomination because of that i already said that i am an anarchist.

i know where you live, motherfucker.

hi megs i love u bye

it misses you too, soupy. especially the kev pics do. they won't shut up about it.

anyone got any good emails recently? if you didn't get any good ones but you wrote a good one, you can tell me about that instead.

hi dummies what's up? to all the newbies, please know that i have seniority over you. i just haven't been around in a while because i used to be number one drunk weirdo on the forums but then i got sober and had to stop posting because i was adrift in the sea of identity with no life raft of distinguishing characteristics anymore and also i don't know how to swim. ive done a lot of soul searching and i've realized that my new identity is typing in all lowercase letters and casually mentioning that i once had an essay published on huffpo. this episode was so good, it made me almost as happy as that time I found out my essay was going to be published on huffpo. edit: this message is for my friend JEFFREYPARTIES. jeff, this time if you stop at starbucks on ur way to pick me up from work please get me something too. technically u owe me because i paid for ur ticket to see x-men.

nice, robotam if anyone asks i was never here

hayes. fam. can u have brandon wardell on ur show? that would b poppin. book.

practically everyone confuses the sizzurp cooler for the water cooler at one point or another i don't see how this is a big deal

I accidentally just got high on codeine at work.

Happy birthday, Hayzie! I made you a little cheat sheet, but if you want to know your ascendent, I'm going to need the time of your birth down to the exact minute. Your ascendent is actually kiiiiind of important so just PM me any time and I'll fix it, I don't mind. I can also explain all this to you if you want, but I'm going to have to charge for it. It takes a lot of time and effort for me to google this shit and then repeat it in a way that sounds like I didn't just look it up. PS - have a wonderful year, and thank you for existing. respect, and goddess bless.

you're welcome, boz man i was never here