New Catchphrase Suggestions

48976 topics in this forum

1. I dreamt I ate a miniature marshmallow, and when I woke up my penis was gone

   By Dale Cooper Black, January 13, 2017
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   • 323 views
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   • Dale Cooper Black
   • January 13, 2017

2. Like the bumper sticker says—a bad day fishing is better than a good day getting flayed alive by antediluvian cosmic proto-cockroach demons.

   By Colfax McLiverneck, January 13, 2017
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   • 314 views
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   • Colfax McLiverneck
   • January 13, 2017

3. Like the bumper sticker says—God is my copilot. Jesus is my stewardess. And the sleeping hottie next to me has angelic-smelling hair.

   By Colfax McLiverneck, January 13, 2017
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   • 410 views
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   • Colfax McLiverneck
   • January 13, 2017

4. Like the bumper sticker says—guns don’t kill people, genetically-modified hyper-intelligent badgers with laser eyes kill people.

   By Colfax McLiverneck, January 13, 2017
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   • 331 views
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   • Colfax McLiverneck
   • January 13, 2017

5. Fun fact, the Queen receives 5% of all Alf merchandise sold in the UK and Australia

   By Dale Cooper Black, January 13, 2017
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   • 403 views
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   • Dale Cooper Black
   • January 13, 2017

6. When you're Todd Bridges, every mirror is a Diff'rent Strokes cast reunion

   By Dale Cooper Black, January 13, 2017
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   • 316 views
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   • Dale Cooper Black
   • January 13, 2017

7. This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. The analogy doesn't really work without visuals, so imagine some eggs

   By Dale Cooper Black, January 13, 2017
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   • 318 views
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   • Dale Cooper Black
   • January 13, 2017

8. What are you lookin at, Grandma?!

   By StanSitwell, January 13, 2017
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   • 378 views
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   • StanSitwell
   • January 13, 2017

9. Stonewall Jackson was ok, but Turdwall Johnson was the shit.

   By Shampoodler, January 13, 2017
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   • 301 views
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   • Shampoodler
   • January 13, 2017

10. I need a lover who won't drive me crazy, but who will drive me to the hospital without asking what's inside my butt.

    By Shampoodler, January 13, 2017
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    • 311 views
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    • Shampoodler
    • January 13, 2017

11. The mind is a terrible thing to waste, and Mindsweeper is a terrible thing to do while wasted.

    By Frenchfries, January 13, 2017
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    • 316 views
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    • Frenchfries
    • January 13, 2017

12. For a guy with the last name Crystal, ol' Billy really has a pair of stones on him.

    By IRONicmerMAN, January 13, 2017
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    • 375 views
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    • IRONicmerMAN
    • January 13, 2017

13. I dreamt I was Hillary Clinton and when I woke up my alarm said Snooze & Recount. I chose snooze, recount can wait.

    By Frenchfries, January 13, 2017
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    • 369 views
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    • Frenchfries
    • January 13, 2017

14. I agree that there have been too many pirate jokes at this funeral, but you should've thought of that before you named your kid "Treasure"

    By Dale Cooper Black, January 13, 2017
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    • 395 views
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    • Dale Cooper Black
    • January 13, 2017

15. Annoyed by the constant screams of countless teenage girls, the Beatles eventually quit performing sacrificial murders

    By Dale Cooper Black, January 13, 2017
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    • 376 views
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    • Dale Cooper Black
    • January 13, 2017

16. The Archangel on my shoulder is telling me to grow big metal wings, but the Daredevil on the other is saying to pull out my eyes and get super senses.

    By Bronson Magnifico, January 13, 2017
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    • 303 views
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    • Bronson Magnifico
    • January 13, 2017

17. I dreamt I ate a giant marshmallow, and when I woke up my giant marshmallow was gone

    By Dale Cooper Black, January 13, 2017
    • 0 replies
    • 314 views
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    • Dale Cooper Black
    • January 13, 2017

18. I've been wrestling my demons for awhile now, and I'm starting to think they might be gay

    By Dale Cooper Black, January 13, 2017
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    • 300 views
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    • Dale Cooper Black
    • January 13, 2017

19. George Harrison is dead, but his Hitler moustache will live on forever

    By Dale Cooper Black, January 13, 2017
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    • 336 views
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    • Dale Cooper Black
    • January 13, 2017

20. Yes, I met Billy Dee Williams and yes, the "Dee" stands for "Douchebag"

    By Dale Cooper Black, January 13, 2017
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    • 523 views
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    • Dale Cooper Black
    • January 13, 2017

21. I didn't ask to be born, but then again I don't remember much from that period so maybe I did

    By Dale Cooper Black, January 13, 2017
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    • 282 views
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    • Dale Cooper Black
    • January 13, 2017

22. Not to brag, but my family was so wealthy that when I asked for a Commodore computer, my father hired Lionel Richie to do my math homework.

    By ChazFremontIII, January 12, 2017
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    • 275 views
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    • ChazFremontIII
    • January 12, 2017

23. My top three newtons in order of preference are Thandie, fig, and Sir Issac.

    By ChazFremontIII, January 12, 2017
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    • 317 views
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    • ChazFremontIII
    • January 12, 2017

24. To Shill a Hockey Curd, the true story of a young man who shills a hockey curd and learns a valuable racial lesson along the way

    By yodellingwalrus, January 12, 2017
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    • 364 views
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    • yodellingwalrus
    • January 12, 2017

25. I shouldn't keep eating this bread but I'm a gluten for punishment.

    By AprilFoolsRebel, January 12, 2017
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    • 345 views
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    • AprilFoolsRebel
    • January 12, 2017