I've sold more mattresses than the mattress salesmen from The Princess and the Pea

[I've sold more mattresses than the mattress salesmen from The Princess and the Pea]

See! I listen to the commercials!

[Why does Garfield hate Mondays so much? It's not like he has a job or anything.]

Just re-listened to the @fatjew i4h

[Why does Garfield hate Mondays so much? It's not like he has a job or anything.]

"I made that joke 55 years ago and your telling me...Parallel Thinking!"

[My favorite TED talk is the one where Cruz describes the woes of Obama Care]

[Right Said Fred said it right when he said "so sexy it hurrrrts".]

[I spent the last 20 years of my life explaining my intentions to you, but in the end you were a mirror in my bathroom.]

I thought you looked familiar...

[I screamed at the top of my lungs "Whats goin on!" Meanwhile at the bottom of my lungs the cancer was spreading.]

[Pop quiz hot dog. There's a bomb on a heynongman. Once the heynongman goes 50 jarles an hour, the bomb is all joking a salad. What's up?]

Tick-tock hot dog

[The clapping hands, the cheer of the crowd, just another day in the life of Duncan McCloud]

[Approach microphone and begin reading catchphrase. Look at first guest suggestively and motion to the outside of the room.]

The first guest will initially deny your advances but don't be discouraged (Don't forget, it's a 1 hour long program).

[Lucy in the sky with Lucy, they're a couple now.]

Congrats ladies

[A tale as old as time, a song as old as rhyme, the Duck Tales theme song.]

[We are giants among men, we who dare to entertain without first embarking on a healthy breakfast!]

indeed!

[Episode 404 - The Timeys Leap Year Celebration]

I thought Brett Gelman was the first CBB supervillain.

 

It's all that damn song's fault. Scott screwed it up and it's destroying the show from within!

 

Yea I guess that was before my CBB time I'll have to go back and check those out

[Farts, tarts, and horsepoops, Cloverfield lane, Catch the magic school bus, then watch Fraiser Crane!]

I'm sure its to the cadence of something

[I saw you sitting there alone at the empty bar and I realized I would love you if I only knew how.....now brown cow! Get it!]

[Episode 404 - The Timeys Leap Year Celebration]

In spite of the end I am still holding out hope that the Timekeeper becomes CBBs first super villain. It would be a really cool origin story.

[I was going to say something nice but you comedy bang bang listener dont deserve it! You deserve so much more.]

[Time to nut up or shut up, I had my testicles removed and now I am getting replacements. I am doing this in lieu of simply talking about it.]

Clarified

[I drank coke zero until i became just that.]

[I thought there was a dollar in my pocket but it was a piece of paper...]

[FIRST]

Rhymes with aids cure

[Chapter 2: The Hole//The hole in the wall was built for the sole purpose of containing farts. A poster of a young Candice Bergen covered my secret.]

Chapter 3:

[Time to nut up or nut down. It's the choice of the listener.]

thanks

[I found the secrets to your heart, they were in the medicine cabinet, behind your gas x.]