If a guy ran out of "performance enhancing drugs" that he needs to "steal home base", would you make him "wear his uniform" and act like a baby again?

[If a guy ran out of "performance enhancing drugs" that he needs to "steal home base", would you make him "wear his uniform" and act like a baby again?]

Mommy!

[If my diet book is to believed, Donald Trump wasn't always an orange turd. He used to be undigested food paired with medications high in beta-carotene]

If your orange turds last for more than 24 hours seek medical attention or move to Canada.

[I like my women like I like my coffee, iced and then later discarded in the dumpster behind the cryogenics lab.]

...

[Episode 468 - The Dream Method]

I liked this moment:

 

Chief Inspector: Right. So after I finished and wiped up and left the apartment. Usually with the same towel that all the ejaculate is on.

 

Exasperated Scott: Sure

[I am the watcher on the walls, I am the fire that burns against the cold, and oh man I am the guy who just ripped ass while taking his vows. My B guys]

Keeps them warm north of the wall

[Who has two thumbs and just got two new prosthetic thumbs? This guy.]

[Listen, your technique lacks preparation. First get all your ducks in a row and THEN stick them up your gaping asshole.]

quack

[Episode 467 - TruLife TV]

After listening to Paul Sheer for 5 minutes I remembered why I DON'T listen to How Did This Get Made!

 

........

 

 

It's cause I haven't seen a lot of the movies and can't sit through a 2 hour terrible movie i haven't seen. I will listen when it's a movie i have seen though. Love Paul, solid ep.

[A sphere is perfectly round object in three dimensional space that when combined with a second sphere becomes a nice pair of ta-tas.]

OO

[Warning: Listening to this podcast will give you a boner the size of a Jamaican bobsled]

Jamaican me......horny

[It rubs the lotion on it's skin, or else it gets the contempt of all the girls at school tomorrow.]

.

[All the Pervs down in Pervs-ville liked Christmas alot, they'd all line up to watch Curvy Jenny Pervy donning her christmas stocks.]

...

[He had finally tapped into what the fans truly wanted. A source of electricty to keep them powered. ALL. DAY. LONG.]

Hooray!

[We all had seen this prank before, the ole snake in a can. But something felt different, perhaps it was the sensation of having my dick in a can.]

perhaps

[When I graduated high school I was voted most likely to read listener catchphrases at the start of my podcast.]

Most of the other superlatives were less accurate.

[Alphabetically: Aardvark, Chimpanzee, Dolphin & Zebra #AnimalsI'dFuck]

Starting with you Flipper

[The mind is a terrible thing to waste, and Mindsweeper is a terrible thing to do while wasted.]

[I dreamt I was Hillary Clinton and when I woke up my alarm said Snooze & Recount. I chose snooze, recount can wait.]

5 more minutes of sleep baby!

[OK stop what you doin, cause I'm about to ruin, your 10 year old's perception of Humpty Dumpty]

The humpty dance is your chance to learn about sex

[This is a message to Donny Kelly of Saugus: Please stop halting parties for a display of your "Kung Fu Powers" that just ends with you farting on me.]

Please Donny

[I tried so hard and got so far, but in the end I couldn't hold my bladder.]

Chester Bennington age 80.

[So there we were chillin at the bar, when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing right in my face! Needless to say, I was sprung.]

.

[Episode 465 - Harsh Joe Pinions]

I seem to be in the minority but I can't stand Paul Rust.

 

Blasphemy! He is in the top 5 of people that I actively seek out their appearances in things. But everyone's their own snowflake or whatever when it comes to comedic taste so who am I to say.

[Hailing from Krypton, Blue the bull had powers that made jumping over the moon easy. What wouldn't be easy is telling Moo-is Lane that he loved her.]

Some day Blue, some day.

[The red section indicates the period where sales were down, and the ripped section is the portal I climbed through when I was trapped in my computer.]

NO! Don't Save over the file! My friends are still in there!