LARDdischarge

Cast the past fast past the cast of F.A.S.T.

My superintendent is super dependent on cougar attention.

There's a special place in Hell for the wicked who refused to curb their lustful appetites in life's thorax issues. It's called the Hell's Center for Minor Cardiothoracic Surgery.

There's a special place in Hell for those who endure terrible agony because of the sins they committed in life's trash. It's called the Hell Dump.

Help me move. There's a drug in it for you.

Walnuts are just almonds with cancer.

I left a damp stamp on the neat seat after watching Lance Gross dance gross. No, I won't clean it up. I'll leave it there.

It's Judy's duty to grease that booty with cruelty-free patchouli. Wait till you see what she does to your boobies.

It's days like these that call for loose fitting tees. Am I right, working Mommies?

Release the Cracken for pussy snackin'.

Dear Diary, where the hell were you during my divorce?

A hundred willows make a thousand pillows, yet a million grunts make just one disappointing little turd.

I done botched my crotch notch! Now my botched crotch is fraught with wormy moths.

Making babies is the second best use of mucus.

Tricking karma with a dick cheese shawarma.

Thou dare show me thine penis?! When thoust knowest I doth detest the bare genitalia of the man sex?!

The sailor and tailor got caught in the baler. Suffice it to say, they're dead.

Diddle me dis: my urine is piss.

Buttery duddery, the blubber-boy notary / focked up his Crock butter docs.

Riddle me this: I'm diddled with piss.

Just the Tip is my favorite way to pay for restaurant meals.

Butter is just the poor man's golden fat spread.

Every time a teenager gets a boost in self esteem, an angel gets an unsatisfactory performance review.

When a crossfit gym closes, an angel gets its paycheck.

Slippery seesaw, the slippy kitten, was a dumb hic with a grain of Lipton.