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Posts posted by LARDdischarge
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You can take the beans of out burrito, but you can't take the burrito out of the foil when its still hot.Â
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When I poop my pants, it's like angels came down by way of a huge messy mudslide with a lot of partially digested food in there too.
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Loose lips flick clits.Â
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I'm on the case and off the pill.Â
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I directed a question to my digestion; my gut said "what" and then fell out my butt.Â
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Jamaica Me Crazy, the fun-filled resort for white people
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I dread buttered bread and I detest bitter zest, and so I'm left utterly bereft on any food to feed my brood.Â
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Pack the crack in stacks please; space is limited.Â
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If you can't beat the heat, thaw your meat and freeze your sheets.Â
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It's hard out there for a Bard with lardy discharge
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There's bound to be casualties when you're cracking your nuts after five mugs of eggnog.
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I'm too timid to tinkle in public, but pretty good at in my bathroom.Â
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Tis the season to think of a reason to get through the days in less painful ways.Â
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Honey is money for jingle jangle junky.Â
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My mittens are from Britain, my pants are from France, and my masks are made by Basques. I guess my fashion is too Eurocentric.Â
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My lemon's in Yemen and my cherry'a is in Syria. I should really keep my fruit in more stable countries.Â
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Butt cheese: a dessert or aperitif?
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There's a burrito in my trousers from when I put it there. Flash forward by two hours and I have beans for underwear.Â
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There are no stupid questions, just mucus snail trails on all my furniture.Â
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If I keep trying, I may end of dying. But if I just lie here, I'm liable to die here. I guess I'll go shopping for chinos.Â
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Tee-hee-hee, I leave a puddle of mucus on every chair I sit on. It's my calling card!
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The danger of strangers is in missing the kissing.Â
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There's a hole in my soul where I hide all my pride. I tossed it and lost it and now I'm a coward.Â
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It's easy to cry when your shaped like a pie.Â
If you're wondering what / just fell out of my butt / It's none of your business / That is unless you like Guinness
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If you're wondering what / just fell out of my butt / It's none of your business / That is unless you like Guinness