LARDdischarge

The troglodyte got into my pantie drawer again!

By LARDdischarge, August 23, 2015 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

• troglodyte

Oh, meatball Monday! The troglodyte's kidnapped my children again! Who has time for this?!

By LARDdischarge, September 1, 2015 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

• troglodyte

I'm ON the case... and off the pill.

By LARDdischarge, September 6, 2015 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

I like yukon in my udon and lettuce in my medic..ine.

By LARDdischarge, November 12, 2019 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

The library is where I go to draw turkeys with crayons, but lately I just can't seem to summon the energy.

By LARDdischarge, December 13, 2019 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Pecans are nature's candy. Almonds are nature's vagina shape. Brazil Nuts are gross.

By LARDdischarge, November 27, 2019 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

My kitty ran away from the meat factory.

By LARDdischarge, November 13, 2019 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

"Hey Little Drummer Boy, shut the fuck up! This is a newborn, for God's sake. Can't we get a flute boy or a harp girl? Jesus Christ, drums sound terrible solo."

By LARDdischarge, November 27, 2019 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Make the Moon great again. Right now it just sucks.

By LARDdischarge, December 13, 2019 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Dusk before dawn, but not on my lawn!

By LARDdischarge, December 9, 2018 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

If you can't piss in the toilet, then get the hell out of my experimental piss trial!

By LARDdischarge, November 21, 2019 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Mom, I don't WANT to wear lipstick, I want to SELL it to orphans! Bumblegum Blue for Orphan Stue.

By LARDdischarge, November 19, 2019 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

AHOY James McAvoy's Boy Toy!

By LARDdischarge, November 5, 2019 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

As far as I'm concerned, the American prairie is just God's grass on the field to play ball on.

By LARDdischarge, December 12, 2019 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Are dolls creepy? If so, I need a therapist for my children.

By LARDdischarge, December 16, 2019 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Penny-flavored toothpaste is THE solution for all the osaphobics out there.

By LARDdischarge, December 10, 2019 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Last time I checked, my kids' names are written on their tombstones.

By LARDdischarge, December 23, 2019 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

My crappy pappy got a slappy. He took a nappy. Now he's happy.

By LARDdischarge, February 21, 2020 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

"But Doctor, I can't operate on this man. He's my son." "Well, we have to get a penis transplant from somewhere!"

By LARDdischarge, December 4, 2019 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Family arguments are sometimes best solved by a little liquid lubricant, if you know what I mean. That's right. I'm talking about the shit that comes out of torpedoes when you poke holes in them.

By LARDdischarge, November 26, 2019 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Dad, I don't want to be an engineer, I want to make butt art!

By LARDdischarge, November 19, 2019 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

As far as I'm concerned, Satan is the original immigrant.

By LARDdischarge, February 12, 2020 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

If I keep trying, I may end of dying. But if I just lie here, I'm liable to die here. I guess I'll go shopping for chinos.

By LARDdischarge, December 1, 2020 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

The penis is mightier than the sword, but boy can a vagina take a some shit.

By LARDdischarge, December 11, 2019 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

You know... teenagers aren't as hott in real life as they are in my mind.

By LARDdischarge, December 24, 2019 in New Catchphrase Suggestions