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Posts posted by LARDdischarge
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My superintendent is super dependent on cougar attention.Â
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There's a special place in Hell for the wicked who refused to curb their lustful appetites in life's thorax issues. It's called the Hell's Center for Minor Cardiothoracic Surgery. Â
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There's a special place in Hell for those who endure terrible agony because of the sins they committed in life's trash. It's called the Hell Dump.Â
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Help me move. There's a drug in it for you.Â
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Walnuts are just almonds with cancer.
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I left a damp stamp on the neat seat after watching Lance Gross dance gross. No, I won't clean it up. I'll leave it there.Â
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It's Judy's duty to grease that booty with cruelty-free patchouli. Wait till you see what she does to your boobies. Â
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It's days like these that call for loose fitting tees. Am I right, working Mommies?
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Release the Cracken for pussy snackin'.Â
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Dear Diary, where the hell were you during my divorce?
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A hundred willows make a thousand pillows, yet a million grunts make just one disappointing little turd.Â
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I done botched my crotch notch! Now my botched crotch is fraught with wormy moths.
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Making babies is the second best use of mucus.Â
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Tricking karma with a dick cheese shawarma.Â
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Thou dare show me thine penis?! When thoust knowest I doth detest the bare genitalia of the man sex?!Â
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The sailor and tailor got caught in the baler. Suffice it to say, they're dead.Â
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Diddle me dis: my urine is piss.Â
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Buttery duddery, the blubber-boy notary / focked up his Crock butter docs.Â
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Riddle me this: I'm diddled with piss.Â
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Just the Tip is my favorite way to pay for restaurant meals.Â
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Butter is just the poor man's golden fat spread.Â
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Every time a teenager gets a boost in self esteem, an angel gets an unsatisfactory performance review.Â
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When a crossfit gym closes, an angel gets its paycheck.Â
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Slippery seesaw, the slippy kitten, was a dumb hic with a grain of Lipton.Â
Cast the past fast past the cast of F.A.S.T.
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Cast the past fast past the cast of F.A.S.T.Â