Jump to content
đź”’ The Earwolf Forums are closed Read more... Ă—


  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by Reptarftw

  1. Reptarftw

    Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)

    It is an absolutely travesty that the planned 3D sequel just seemed to die in production phase. They could have spent $500 on it and people would still find a way to watch. I have a soft spot for movies that own their silly shit, and don't pussyfoot their way around it. This gem went all the way in.
  2. Reptarftw

    Turbo Kid (2015)

    I'd agree this is fair game for HDTGM. It has a tamer Hobo With a Shotgun vibe to it. Personally, I was a little disappointed though. The initial trailers and promotional material for this film was really, really cool and well thought-out. The movie itself felt a bit less fun than I thought it should have been, though. Movies like these need to embrace gonzo elements with full buy-in, and this one seemed a bit half-in, half-out of a lot of its ideas. I will give credit for some cool minimalist costume design, though, and some ridiculous (in a good way) violence.
  3. Reptarftw

    Supernova (2000)

    I was maybe just into my middle school years when this came out into theaters. Consequentially, my movie interest was dictated by one thing: how many explosions were in the movie trailer. I remember begging my dad to take me to this. He has/had terrible taste in movies, but even he could tell this was a piece of crap. But he relented, and we went. And all I can remember about this experience was how bored I was waiting for that fucking explosion from the trailer, then how disappointed I was when it got there, and how much shame I felt for inflicting this movie upon another mortal soul. This was the first film I can ever remember feeling bad—like I had to make up lost time—for making someone else watch.
  4. Reptarftw

    Episode 128 - Streets of Fire: LIVE!

    Room really took me by surprise. It was a lot less claustrophobic than the premise suggested, and almost certainly featured the best performance from a child under the age of 6-7 (I'm bad at guessing ages) I have ever seen. Which isn't a long list, because most would be limited or terrible. But it was legitimately a terrific performance from someone who probably shouldn't be able to memorize that many lines. I mean, I was in a school play at 8 and could barely remember my two lines. Sometimes, films just bring out performances or feats that absolutely amaze me. I've kinda hit a film rut since the award contenders, which seems on par for January, I guess. I'm not really feeling anything coming out soon, either. Maybe The Clan. But even Hail, Caesar feels like a meh calendar circle to me. The Witch feels like the next thing I care about. TV-wise, I'm trying to get into a Starz series. Boss was top-notch TV. I was pissed when that was canceled. And ever since—unrelated to the fact it was canceled, just my personal preferences—I can't get into any of these Starz series I keep reading are way better than they look. I first read that about Spartacus and how it gets really good over time. Can't get past 2 episodes of that. Bailed. Tried Flesh & Bone recently and actually did end up finishing that eventually, but as soon as I could tell they were going to leave us short on whatever the hell Dewey Crowe was up to, I kinda lost interest in really investing myself there. Outlander...I do not agree with critics at all, to put it nicely. 1.5 episodes was my limit. Hard pass. Now, I'm trying to get into Black Sails after losing interest in its initial run, because everyone is raving about the start season 3 is off to, and sue me but I like pirate settings. I'm actually 5 episodes in and buying the potential of staying with this now, so this is looking like my best shot yet.
  5. Reptarftw

    Ask Paul!

    I really appreciate what HDTGM brings to my life. Seriously. Which probably infers that I'm some shut-in whose only outside contact with the world—like TV in Room style—is podcasts. But what I really mean is: it is the perfect length for getting me through my daily run without thinking about how stupid running really is, so thank you for the welcome distraction, and for generally just being excited to talk about movies. (I won't deviate too much from track here, but there are other "this movie is really questionable" podcasts and they are NOT enjoyable. In the least. The fun, chemistry and focus of HDTGM is unparalleled.) To my question: I've listened to these episodes all sorts of non-chronologically, but today, I was listening to an earlier episode and really noticing some of the different segments or structural choices in earlier episodes that evolved into different choices in later episodes. So I'm just curious to hear a little bit more about the inception and evolution of this podcast. Whose original idea was it? Do you take the idea to Earwolf, do they pitch it to you? And what would you say some of the biggest "lessons learned" have been as you've refined the end product over the years? Did you ever envision doing live shows when you started doing this, and to the stage that you do now?
  6. Reptarftw

    Swordfish (2001)

    I remember this being one of the very first DVDs I ever got, because the first DVD player I ever got was a PS2 for Christmas and my parents bought 2 or 3 DVDs to go along with it. I also remember, even at age 12 or 13 or whatever, the prime age for a Joel Silver production in which Halle Berry is nude, thinking: wow, this movie is abjectly awful and I am now ashamed to own it.
  7. Oooh, you know what movies are TERRIBLE but would be abjectly horrible HDTGM episodes (also, something I could never watch parallel to HDTGM episodes?) YouTube Star movies. Like Fred. There are at least 2 Fred movies, right? Yeah; I'd rather grab a front row seat to a volcano eruption.
  8. As I responded in United Passions, my thing is: there's good badfilm and there's bad badfilm. Something like United Passions, to me, is a terrible choice for HDTGM. Not because it's good; it's objectively a terrible film. But because it's just...boring. It's not bad in any fun way. It's not a trainwreck. It's just uninspired propaganda. The only thing really bonkers about a movie like that is all the after-the-facts stuff that comes out: how few people saw it, how little $ it netted, etc. Something like Running Scared, to me, is a great choice, because the insanity starts at the pitch and plot summary itself. It's badfilm, probably, but not necessarily a bad film. It's packed full of so many crazy moments, characters, lines, twists etc. that you could spend days unraveling its meandering plot threads. I want to hear people talk about the latter. I have no interest in listening to people pick apart the latter. So in the spirit of this thread ... a few films people consider universally terrible, but would be boring as hell as HDTGM episodes: That's My Boy Never Say Never Any more than one Epic Movie / Disaster Movie / Date Movie etc. and even one may be pushing it The Fog or other bad horror remakes Uwe Boll is kinda an interesting case though. I'm torn between "if you've picked apart one Uwe Boll film, you've really picked apart them all" and "each film is so uniquely awful, they're worth talking about".
  9. Reptarftw

    United Passions (2014)

    I think movies like this are, of course, awful. But they're just boring to analyze. I'm more for HDTGM looking at bonkers-badfilm, not just really boring bad films.
  10. Reptarftw

    Hobo with a Shotgun

    I just want a Plague spinoff, honestly.
  11. A lot of Dreamcatcher on here. I remember seeing news that the book was being made into a movie. Having read the book, my first reaction was: that is NOT a book that translates into a 2-hour movie. In any way. At all. Ever. By any hand. When the least butchered thing in that movie was Beaver's asshole, you know it was a HDTGM movie.
  12. Reptarftw

    The Score (2001)

    The real question is if Flowers for Algernon/Charly and Good Will Hunting are canon in his world, because those have to fuck with his head in a major way after the Norton reveal.
  13. Okay ... I realize this is probably detracting from people wanting to talk Star Wars Holiday Special now, but I really want to just see a thread full of these. This is gold. I could read these all day.
  14. That is pretty goddamn awesome haha. Legitimately could see that being a Bojack-esque central conceit of some animated project. "H is for Hitler", a Netflix original series. Gary Hitler is a substitute teacher who just wants to live a normal life. He goes by Mr. H, but the kids know. They know. He's single, but yearning for life beyond Microwave Cooking for One. So he enrolls in an online dating service, in which he can only go by Gary H. But they all find out eventually. They always do. In the end, there is just Gary Hitler, an empty bottle and the paradox of hoping he does/doesn't get the call to come in and teach that day.
  15. As someone not super-versed in Star Wars lore, it's hard to add much to this that hasn't already been said. Highlights for me, which several of you already touched on, were: Harvey Korman in alien blackface, Mark Hamill never once blinking so as to accentuate eyeliner, and every sexually aggressive moment. Only thing I might add is that the episode itself lamented the use of names like Itchy, Lumpy etc. even if Matt helped to explain away the nomenclature ... but George Lucas was NOTORIOUS for the least subtle, most obnoxious naming decisions known to cinema, so we don't even really need the longer mythology of the Wookie names; we just know Lucas actually invents character names like Darth Sidious, Sleazebaggano, General Grievous, Biggs Darklighter and in-world objects like "death sticks". In a world where a character is actually named Sleazebaggano, Lumpy is comparably subtle. But a fun game: imagine what Bruce Vilanch and co. would do to other blockbuster film or TV franchises! Game of Thrones, with a 1-hour lemoncake baking tutorial from Septa Whoopsadaisy? Lord of the Rings, where Ents just slowly moan at each other for the duration? Fast and Furious, with a half-hour where no one actually drives a car? (Oh wait, that last one actually happened.)
  16. Reptarftw

    The Score (2001)

    Made it all the better on the reveal, though. Honestly, this may have been a poor film in a few regards, I haven't seen it since it was released. But I still remember how you could FEEL that security guard's (or whoever was mentoring Norton) soul being crushed. Brutal.
  17. Reptarftw

    Episode 125.5 - Minisode 125.5

    It also occurred to me that Mark Hamill blinked maybe twice in this entire special. I wonder if the only direction he was given was "loudly broadcast your eye color!"
  18. Reptarftw

    Episode 125.5 - Minisode 125.5

    Didn't expect my hot take to be such a hot take. Mea culpa, nerds. You are all correct. But I stand by how goddamn sexually aggressive and poorly edited this is.
  19. Reptarftw

    The Thomas Crown Affair (1999)

    Peak Brosnan makes me peak.
  20. Reptarftw

    Episode 125.5 - Minisode 125.5

    I can buy that. But it's so overtly commercialized that calling it anything but Christmas feels weird. And the holiday itself doesn't even really mirror Christmas (or Hanukkah etc.) Why even call it or theme it as a holiday special then? Just make it "the Star Wars special we're airing during the holiday to try to get you to buy your kid toys and find some really odd range of Jefferson Starship and Harvey Korman to appease a wide audience". Also the editing in this special is almost Birdemic bad.
  21. Reptarftw

    Episode 125.5 - Minisode 125.5

    Circling back for a second ... the whole concept of Life Day is mysterious to me. I would get "Life Day" as some PC bullshit they would have to put in a family special now, in 2015. But PC bullshit in 1978 just seems anachronistic. I went to elementary school in the mid-90s and we still had "Christmas" parties (before that later changed to "holiday" parties for my brother's stint), so using anecdotal evidence because what could ever go wrong there, it stands to reason they totally could have just called it "Wookie Christmas" in 1978 and nobody would have given a shit. They weren't aiming to put Life Day presents under the tree... I'm also struck by how unnecessarily sexually aggressive so much of it is, which blends so oddly with the PC-ness of the central conceit. Grandpa Wookie totally has a masturbation station set up. There is no doubt. And that's just one of many totally unnecessarily sexualized elements in play here. I might actually argue that, given the setup and context, I felt more uncomfortable watching Star Wars Holiday Special than Irreversible or Mysterious Skin.
  22. Reptarftw

    Stealth (2005)

    I was working at Hollywood Video when this was released to DVD, and I can confidently say this had one of the lowest stock-to-checkout ratios of any movie we had. For totally unnecessary and unscientific context, highest was Pirates of the Caribbean and in the Stealth tier would be Aeon Flux and Rent. Also it was always hilarious watching people try to brownbag a rental of Brokeback Mountain or Transamerica, because apparently those things were taboo just 10 years ago...
  23. Reptarftw

    The Score (2001)

    Thought: this isn't a bad film.
  24. Reptarftw

    Episode 125.5 - Minisode 125.5

    So, preface: I'm not as in to the Star Wars mythology as most. Not because OMG STAR WARS NERDS ARE GROSS! But it just doesn't grab me like some other worlds. That said, one thing that strikes me in the holiday special, from what Star Wars experience I do have: the discordant feel (of everything, but specifically) of James Earl Jones' comic beats. Like ... OK, I'll buy awkward comic beats for characters like Luke or R2D2 or Chewbacca because those characters had variant amounts of those beats in the films. But correct me if I'm wrong: Darth Vader never really had those moments in any of those films. So I'm imagining the prospect of transitioning from a reality where you've seen some level of comic understanding from most characters into a reality where all beats are shitty and horribly mistimed here, but plausible nonetheless. And then Darth fucking Vader all of a sudden starts trying to get in on that action. And it's just ... no. No, James Earl Jones. Your character does not stay on that target. It's like a follow-up to Schindler's List where Ralph Fiennes winks at the camera after making some awful camp or shower joke.
  25. Reptarftw

    Episode 109 - FACE OFF: LIVE!

    One of the pay cable networks has this in heavy rotation right now. I think Cinemax, but maybe Showtime. HDTGM group is right: the hygiene in this movie is disturbing. You can't unsee the face-touching. All of it. And legitimately, not playing for laughs: the way Cage-as-Travolta behaves with his daughter is absolutely terrifying. Next-level disturbing. Like, every vibe you felt about Max Cady in Cape Fear is amped up a hundredfold with the incest factor in play here.