Robert_Yune

Earwigs for the earwolves so they look like proper British judges

Don't make me make you tell me that it's opposite day. Again.

Non-dairy creamer? I barely know her!

Wwwhile you were sleeping with the enemy, I was gleaming the cube with Major Payne.

If you ever call me "Doctor Ockerman" again, I'll crush you with my eight mechanical arms, Spider-Man!

"Listen up, you wee bastards" is the last thing I said on my first and last day as a first grade teacher.

I'm here to kick bubblegum and chew ass. You heard that correctly.

Every time you make a joke about rabies, somebody gets rabies. That's how diseases work. To cure them, all we have to do is stop joking about them. I'm Scott Ockerman and this is one of my deeply held beliefs.

"Going Commando" means something else when you're in Disneyland.

A won'drous adventure will begin once I reveal what is inside this briefcase. Stand back, fools.

In this town, it's not a coincidence that "sexpot" rhymes with "mascot."

I ain't got time to watch Speed 2: Cruise Control. Not with this Predator thing hogging the couch.

There's a new sheriff in town! And he's dead, because I murdered him. So there's a new sheriff in town! And he's me. Brace for mayhem, peasants.

You're supposed to shoot antelopes and scoop cantaloupes, not the other way around!

Cheer-wolves aren't as cool as beer-wolves, but avoid the fear-wolves, who haven't been the same since the Lear-jet wolves crashed into them.

The great apes ate grapes tossed through velvet drapes. Say that five times fast or I'll kill you.

One man's trash is another man's Treasure Island.

What's up, downward dog? That's right, I'm into yoga now. May the force be with you.

Stop! Or my mom will shoot heroin

The eyes are the window to the Soulja Boy. Crank that Soulja Boy.

Two Girls, One Cupcake.

No Blood, No Foul. No Bloodmoon, No High Noon. No Meatsmell, No Moonspell.

The First Million Dicks Are The Hardest.