SideofMcG

It's true what they say absence of heart makes your blood drain faster.

Raising Arizona was on TV - fuzzy reception, not great sound. My Dad recommended I watch it. And that's what kicked off my love of the Coen Brothers and good ol' Nic Cage!

Andy Daily? If we hire Andy Weekly wouldn't it be cheaper?

Don't lie to me. Or next to me. We need honesty and separate rooms if this marriage is ever gonna work.

I know what you're thinking - a slimmer, better looking, more recognisable version of me has really let himself go.

The deeper the cushion, the more philosophical the pushin'

I've seen Trouble all my days. I said, I've seen Trouble all my days. And I've seen I Love Trouble just once. That was enough.

Don't start me stalking, I could stalk all night.

Check your neck. Protecting Beck. It's all gone to heck up on the poop deck.

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Take me out at the ball game. Murder me on first base. What's on second, I Don't Know's on Third.

The Shake-Down Merry-Go-Round is great except for that bit when they hang you upsidedown to get all the loose change from your pockets.

First the bad news - we've redefined what 'good news' means to allow us to sneak in a bit more bad stuff. Now the good news - your whole family just got killed in a car wreck.

Today's show is sponsored by the new Liam Neeson NBC sitcom: 8 Simples Rules... for Kidnapping My Teenage Daughter.

Who ever heard of a guy who doesn't like to say things and then not say them again for a little while and then say them again and forget that he said them already and then his wife pats him on the arm and says, "You told us that already honey." That's just the kind of guy I am. Well excuuuuuuusssse me!

Disneyland is like Disneyland for people who love Disney.

My people were oppressed for 800 years and all I got was this lousy t-shirt that says "I'm ok with being oppressed on a long term basis."

Never gonna give you up, never gonna not be high, never gonna try to not ever inject you. Heroin.

Side effects may vary Mary but ne'er do-wells sure do it well.

Tried and tested? Jailed and Hep C Positive you mean.

Wears the Beef is the name of a great cow fashion magazine.

Men's Rights. Men's Lefts. Men's Steps. Men's Kicks. Ok from the top. And a-one and a-two. Do the MRA shuffle!

Excuse me miss, I can't gaslight this diss, cause a diss like this can't be gaslit.

Gentlemen, Paul Blart your engines.

Manufacturing drinking vessels for fun is a mug's game.