SideofMcG

In my day a digital influencer was just the popular kid on the street who was really good at finger guns.

Greek Yoghurts have active cultures in them. Geek Yoghurts have meme cultures in them.

Ditch that stuffy collar and tie and put on some blackface - it's casual racism Friday!

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. That table over there? Makes you stronger. A small raisin? Makes you stronger. This makes no sense.

Row row row your bloat gently down the indigestion stream.

Get outta my dreams, Get into my car. Ok now I'm in my underwear doing a college exam in your car. What do you want?

Jumping the Shark used to be called Screwing the Pooch which used to be Bumming the Giraffe. And we all know where that came from. The Pervert Irish.

Wicker basket. Wicker Man. Wicka Wicka Wow Wow - I'm a white middle class rapper. Get funky dudes and dudettes.

Sunday, Monday, Happy Days! Tuesday, Wednesday, Happy Days! Thursday, Friday, Deep Depression - The weekend comes, can't get out of bed. Fuck me.

Snapchat me your Deets, I'll hit you up on Friendster and we can Bebo some heroin later. Cool bro.

Location, Location, Location, Samuel L Jackson - The Four L's of Real Motherfuckin' Esate.

If I wrote the dictionary I'd put U and I together because I'm a fucking moron who doesn't know how the alphabet works.

"I remember when all this was fields." Please Mister Fields put your penis away.

I dunno about that autoerotic asphyxiation. You'd have to be pretty desperate to fuck an exhaust pipe.

Harambe ? He's just King Kong for Millennials. Millennials? They're just Baby Boomers for this century. Baby Boomers? They just love exploding babies.

Space Ghetto. To our Scottish listeners that just sounded like I said Spice Girl. Weird, huh?

Sheep should be shorn and not herd.

The monkeys are back or else your Dad just ate all the bananas and smeared his shit on the kitchen walls again. Either way it's gonna be a great day.

Flowers never feel safe because they're always being stalked. That makes no sense! Go pluck yourself!

Where wolf? Were wolf? We're wolf. Queerwolf. Dr. Suess' lost manuscript finally uncovered!

Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to myself. But then you always ruin it by answering me.

You know what they say? Small hands - cheaper gloves.

Big news for us! We're pregnant! And by 'we' I mean 'you'. And by 'us' I also mean 'you'. I don't date no weird Junior ass pregnant men.

Nah - this is shit.

The Three Extreme L's of Real Estate - Location, Location WOAHCATION.