SideofMcG

The Loch Ness Monster is banned from Twitter. Has Monster Cancel Culture gone too far?

Shimmy over and get me that shammy. Whille I jimmy over and give you my whammy.

Are you lactose intolerant or do you just shout at cows? Either way we cater for you in this stupid restaurant.

Who's got two thumbs in a ziploc bag and wants one million dollars for their safe return? That guy with the machete over there.

Soup to nuts is a funny phrase which describes why my genitals are burned.

I pulled off a heist. Heists are what I call truck drivers.

If you can't eat them onions then get out of the damn stew.

I'm sorry - I thought you said wacky BECKY not wacky BACCY. Well anyway I killed, rolled and smoked Becky. She's dead now and I'm not even one bit high.

If parrots can mimic anyone then why don't any of them sound like Gilbert Gottfried? Except that one in Aladdin of course.

It was a dark and normie night, I was reading Grisham and watching NBC.

Snorting carpet cleaner isn't an aphrodisiac but it is a laxative. So it's just as well I bought all this carpet cleaner.

Don't hate the game, hate the chef who refused to cook you anything different.

Shoes on first. Watch on second. Abbot and Costello got dressed ass backwards man.

Cruisin' Snoozin' counting teeth that I'm losin'. You meth your life I'm having fun.

I wasn't asking and I'm not telling but if you want discount cheese, then buddy I'm selling.

If a new catchphrase is what ye seek, then read this forum 'tis full of geeks.

Don't ask me nuthin', I'm just here for the puttin'

Give me your tired, your poor, your curdled asses yearning to break free of their britches.

All your baseballs are belong to us, watch your face fall as I eat this rust

And I think that would go a little something like this.... *FART NOISE*

Having the last laugh is only good if it's not past the expiration date.

You can't paraphrase a password or parachute your last bird, but you can shoot a parrot who's had the last word.

She steals Seal's meals right from Seal's bedside.

Oh man I completely forgot our catchphrases were due today.

They've been toilet training for years. When are these toilets gonna see some action?