SideofMcG

My milkshake brings all the slightly outdated references to the yard.

Dance like nobody is washing. That's right - do the stinky foxtrot.

'tis a mystery. Subscribe to my newsletter for more!

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Cherish - Being like or behaving in a similar fashion to Cher.

Drilling for oil, digging for fire, dancing for architecture. Today's show is about none of these things.

How many nymphomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The real question is how these tiny perverts got in the lightbulb in the first place.

If I were a carpenter, And you were a lady, I'd put up your shelves but wouldn't entertain your racist opinions.

I've heard of singing in the shower but showering with Singh? Now that's getting saucy.

You're very welcome to the show, make yourself at home, take your shoes off, put up your feet, fondle my pets, covet my wife and get the fuck out.

Opinions of the guests on Comedy Bang Bang do not reflect those of the Earwolf Network but do reflect laser pens if you shine them at the right angle.

I know what you're thinking - did he fire six shots or only five? Well to tell you the truth it doesn't matter. We don't count shots in pool.

I've heard of Pokemon Go but Poke Your Mom's Hole? Yes I've heard of that too - I was doing it last night. Respectfully of course.

I'm not the kind of man that gets into fights. No, I prefer to think of myself as a boy. A constantly fighting boy.

If I thought for one second this rabid flesh-eating zombie was going to actually eat people's flesh I would never have voted for him in the primaries.

Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it snow. Let it snow. Let it snow. Let us go. Lettuce grow. Lettuce grow.

Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets. Well that's the weather, back to you in studio Dan!

If you go down to the woods today you're in for a big surprise - it's now a strip mall! Fuck you teddy bears.

With a Yipee-Aye-Ay, a Toodle-Pip-Doo and silly ol' Ha Ha Ha! We're off to town, to do our work - a merry band of abortionists we are!

God doesn't close a door without opening a window. Which only proves that God is a lousy lodger who doesn't care about the heating costs one bit.

If I had a nickel for every time I submitted a catchphrase it would be useless to me - I live in Europe!

Fiends Roaming Countrysides, lend me your fears

Go Faster Stripe! A snazzy addition to your car or a command to shout at Gremlins? You decide!

Back, sack and crack. A method of waxing or Santa's new dance craze?

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97 - eat whipped cream. If I could offer you only one tip for your future desserts, whipped cream would be it.