SideofMcG

Gentlemen, Phil Collins has breached the perimeter again, fall back to the Genesis Panic Room.

What did the Catholic say after surviving a fall from a 50 storey window? "I'm in complete agony, please kill me, I don't want to live."

What do you get when you cross a giraffe with an elephant? An example of genetic experimentation gone too far. Scientists shouldn't play God.

Spray Cheese but for hemorrhoids. Preparation Halloumi.

As the old saying goes, let Peeping Toms spy.

Much like flammable and inflammable, hospitable and inhospitable are both words that I never use.

I'm a Barbie Girl, in a Barbie World, wrapped in plastic..... suffocated. Someone please avenge my death!

When you're down and troubled and you need a helping hand and nothing, whoa, nothing is going right. Try ALCOHOL!!!

A storm hit when the Society For Dodgy Stomachs were on a rollercoaster.... Pukenado!

Forsyth's Foresight was only matched by Foreman's Foreskin.

As campaign slogans go it's not the best but god damn it if "Fuck Me Freely Frederick Forsyth" isn't a great name for a second album.

If the Cat in the Hat comes back we're neutering him.

Promoting Paul's Paedo Pump Paradise Probably Paid Poorly, Proposed Peter. Perhaps Playing Possum Pulled Platitudes Partially.

Wake me up for the singularity suckahs!

Take two bottles into the shower? You're probably an alcoholic.

My doctor said I have the lungs of a 25 year old. Then he called the cops and they found the heart, liver and head.

Kevin Bacon in the streets, Streaky Bacon in the sheets.

It Ain't Easy Being Green: The Incredible Hulk Story

He used to be proud to be an Okie from Muskogee, now she's proud to be a Vagina from North Carolina.

- You there! Boy! What day is this?.... "Today Sir? It's Columbus Day." - Seriously? Those ghosts really screwed me over.

Everyone gives the 1978 Star Wars Holiday Special a hard time but Aliens: A Hanukkah Miracle gets off far too lightly in my opinion.

It really annoys me when people mispronounce grains. Quinoa what I mean?

If you're a fan of any movie from the 80's or the 90's I have some good news. This autumn there's a spinoff TV show of them all coming out

The first fight of rule club is always about the formatting of the previous meetings' minutes.

Eating is cheating. The first rule of no oral sex club.