SideofMcG

In my day a selfie was when you took a photograph of yourself - not this autoerotic asphyxiation lark the kids are into now.

By SideofMcG, August 30, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Back in my day we had bidets but these days they let shit stay. So on pay day you just stay away and it's may day before we play away. Your ass stinks

By SideofMcG, September 2, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Time and Tide wait for no man. Why anyone would expect a washing powder to be capable of waiting for anyone is simply beyond me.

By SideofMcG, September 2, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Through Time Travel Mimes Unravel. Gimme those Revels, I'm replacing them with Gravel.

By SideofMcG, September 2, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

*Record Scratch* Yup, that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation - owner of Scratch Records.

By SideofMcG, September 2, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Shove it your hoop. Super doop. Gloop a loop. Shamalamadingdong. I'm slowly losing my grip on reality. Please help me. I feel like I'm underwater.

By SideofMcG, September 2, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

My vegetable boy band is called New Kids On the Chopping Block. Also my French Revolution BoyBand.

By SideofMcG, September 2, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

A spoonful of sugar makes the diabetes all the more severe.

By SideofMcG, September 14, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

"My name is Siri. I live on your second phone."

By SideofMcG, September 14, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Horton Hears a Hordor.

By SideofMcG, September 14, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

But crash, what brick through yonder window breaks? It is a big 'un and Juliet is flattened.

By SideofMcG, September 14, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Amadeus. Amadeus. Vape me Amadeus.

By SideofMcG, September 14, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Patchouli Oil - when you absolutely, positively, have to piss off every person in the room, accept no substitutes.

By SideofMcG, September 14, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Hey I read your movie script. I'm going to pass it upstairs straight away. Now please release my nephew.

By SideofMcG, September 26, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

If you aim for the king then you best not miss. Also you're so lucky. Surrogate King Aimer is a pensionable job around these parts. Plus - DENTAL!

By SideofMcG, October 17, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

She was just a small town-girl but her sister, who ate voraciously, would best be described as a huge town-girl. But both did live in a lonely world.

By SideofMcG, October 17, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

I took my proctologist to the circus. We had ringside seats. "Busman's holiday," he complained.

By SideofMcG, October 17, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

It wasn't long before the neophytes noticed that not only was I not one of them but I was in fact just a long length of rubber tubing.

By SideofMcG, October 17, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

• Whe

"Add me on Friendster O'Lord and other slightly out of date hymns for today's youth"

By SideofMcG, October 17, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

To keep my drinking secret I developed an ingenious code. Beer was "Cold Comfort", Vodka was "Clear courage" and whiskey was "Yum Yum Punchey Juice."

By SideofMcG, October 17, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Sir, while you are right that it's not explicitly forbidden in the rulebook, let me assure you that the chokehold is not a legitimate chess move.

By SideofMcG, October 17, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

I'm now twice the size I was as a kid. So if I was half the man I used to be I'd be a Quarterman. That won't work - I know nothing about shipbuilding.

By SideofMcG, October 20, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Sometimes I look up at the stars and wonder.... "Do these celebrities know I'm hiding under their floorboards?"

By SideofMcG, November 28, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Shake me Jesus. Shake me up in the spraycan of life. Spray me Jesus. Graffiti me with your word o hip saviour.

By SideofMcG, November 28, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Your gender non-specific relative has such an unusual body shape that a humorous thing can be implied about it but not a hurtful one because feelings.

By SideofMcG, November 28, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions