Somebody come get her, she's dancing like John Ritter

[Somebody come get her, she's dancing like John Ritter]

Somebody come get her, she's dancing like John Ritter

[Red, brown, yellow, green, and white: a rainbow coalition of bodily fluid]

Red, brown, yellow, green, and white: a rainbow coalition of bodily fluid

[please, please, please let me let me let me shit where i want this time]

please, please, please let me let me let me shit where i want this time

[Joker in the streets, roker in the sheets]

Joker in the streets, al roker in the sheets

[He was the perfect weapon until he became the target. This summer Scott Aukerman is... Pedro Poopstain]

He was the perfect weapon until he became the target. This summer Scott Aukerman is... Pedro Poopstain

[36% off vintage assplugs with the offer code “bang” that’s b-a-n-g and i’ll see you never at the swing club]

36% off vintage assplugs with the offer code “bang” that’s b-a-n-g and i’ll see you never at the swing club

[Tragedy plus time, plus some broth, plus a potato... mmm baby, you've got a stew going!]

Tragedy plus time, plus some broth, plus a potato... mmm baby, you've got a stew going!

[Tragedy plus time, plus some broth, plus a potato... mmm baby, you've got a stew going!]

Tragedy plus time, plus some broth, plus a potato... mmm baby, you've got a stew going!

[shirt plugs]

 

Shirt Plugs by Marie Horselamp

[submit youtube clips for improv4humans]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POk-uOQSJVk&feature=youtu.be

[Introducing Row-Row-Rodent-Boat, the world's first and only gondola powered by chinchillas!]

Introducing Row-Row-Rodent-Boat, the world's first and only gondola powered by chinchillas!

[every time i try to order pizza i end up just having phone sex, oh god, oh god, oooh my godddd, i'm so hungry]

every time i try to order pizza i end up just having phone sex, oh god, oh god, oooh my godddd, i'm so hungry

[My name is Rappin' Scott and I'm here to say "Stop the press, stop the press, who is that?" Vicky Vale Vicky Vale]

My name is Rappin' Scott and I'm here to say "Stop the press, stop the press, who is that?" Vicky Vale Vicky Vale

[Hypothesis: I'm a loser; Experiment: I ate chili fries. Conclusion: Yes]

Hypothesis: I'm a loser; Experiment: I ate chili fries. Conclusion: Yes

[Video evidence of anyone beating my twerk score and I’ll mail you one (1) $5 Starbucks TM gift card]

Video evidence of anyone beating my twerk score and I’ll mail you one (1) $5 Starbucks TM gift card

[Send me snapchats on the honor system, meaning... just email me nudes and I promise I’ll delete them later]

Send me snapchats on the honor system, meaning... just email me nudes and I promise I’ll delete them later

[Your password must contain a capital letter, an imaginary number, two emoji, a sumerian curse, and a scent memory from your childhood.]

Your password must contain a capital letter, an imaginary number, two emoji, a sumerian curse, and a scent memory from your childhood.

[REAL comedy fans pan for flakes of comedy in the Hudson River.]

REAL comedy fans pan for flakes of comedy in the Hudson River.

[Hey everybody! My name is Scott and this is Scott Loves Movies!]

Hey everybody! My name is Scott and this is Scott Loves Movies!

[gentlemen, we can rebuild him. we have the technology. a robotic weiner]

gentlemen, we can rebuild him. we have the technology. a robotic weiner

[I work hard for the money. Eddie Money, that is. He's my boss! Yes, Mr. Money, I'll take you home tonight.]

this is a good song

[Shut up Peter and John, I never asked to be Bjorn!]

This is a good song

[fuck my cornbread, marry my gravy, kiss my grits - welcome to comedy ding dang]

fuck my cornbread, marry my gravy, kiss my grits - welcome to comedy ding dang