Jump to content
🔒 The Earwolf Forums are closed Read more... ×

The_Triple_Lindy

Members
  • Content count

    661
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    26

Posts posted by The_Triple_Lindy


  1. 6 hours ago, Cam Bert said:

    So where is this 7" cut they are talking about? The tattoo he could have gotten after prison and therefore not on his file but if he had such a large cut on his shoulder that they had to make note of it why is it not visible two years later? That is unless of course we all assume this is some sort of penis reference. Yes I went there and I am sorry.

    You going places like this is why we love you.

    7 hours ago, Cam Bert said:

    I have a golf related question then.

    So it looks like he's using an iron and not a driver in the scene. His shots seem to be landing around the 150 yard mark. If you are using a higher iron, wouldn't that be about right? Maybe his form was shit, but even the highest iron is going to what, drive 200 yards or so?

    It was definitely an iron but the length of it suggests it's at least a 7 or 6-Iron, which means he should be getting the ball around 175-180. But his swing is all arms ... he barely twists his torso and his waist is completely quiet. It's like he's shooting a pitch shot, which wouldn't go near 150. Halle's form is awful but at least she puts her whole body into it. 

    • Like 1

  2. CORRECTIONS:

    1. Aside from the playful chronology of the movie's storyline, I honestly don't understand why everyone thinks that Tarantino was this movie's primary inspiration. To me, it seems clear that the filmmakers are all big Guy Ritchie fans, since Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels had come out in 1998 and Snatch a couple of years later. It has all the Ritchie touches -- snappy banter, techno-jazz, a heist plot, and even Vinnie Jones with his super-cool, uber-intimidating one-liners. 

    2. The gang seems baffled by why Travolta would make Jackman hack while buzzed on tequila, getting blown, with a gun to his head, but it seems obvious that the crooks are trying to prove to themselves that Jackman could perform under crazy pressure. Although, it doesn't make sense that they would need someone who could do such a thing since his primary reason for being there is to create a worm, which Jackman apparently has all day to do while drinking vintage wine. Unless they knew that he would pull some Robin Hood-type shit and they'd have to make him undo it while fake-hanging Halle Berry ... ah, to hell with trying to rationalize this.

    3. Paul seems to think someone becomes good at golf just by putting in time and practice, which says to me that Paul has never actually played golf. Golf is the kind of thing that you are total dogshit at when you first pick it up, and then after years of practice and countless dollars on better clubs and balls and what-have-yous, you are lucky if you manage to become slightly less-than-shitty. And even when you do improve a little bit and you're feeling pretty good about yourself, along comes some tarted-up triple agent in a velvet jumpsuit miniskirt and heels with the most awkward-looking swing I've ever seen and completely destroys you on your own driving range. I can't even imagine where she finds the time to work on her swing in between her international dark cell anti-terrorism hacker seduction responsibilities, which means she is probably just naturally good at the game, which is just goddamned infuriating. 

    If you can't tell, I love golf.

    • Like 3

  3. On 8/14/2020 at 5:19 PM, gigi-tastic said:

    This movie was a crime against style. No one looked good. Travolta has that landing strip on his face, side highlights, AND A BERET . He goes on about how "clothes make the man" while he's out here looking like a Men's Warehouse reject. High Jackman is playing golf in a bright orange loincloth and has the shittiest earring I ever did see. Poor Halle Berry looks like THAT (IS a goddess not of this world) and they put her in the most God awful fabrics known to man. That blue blousey number?! Did the costume designer just hate everyone on set? I'm not even going to touch on the daughter's clothes

    Maybe, but as someone who came of age in the 90s, everything about this morning is rather gorgeous to me. That Pac-Sun/proto-Hot Topic look is exactly what I went for ... Jackman would've been for school, Travolta would've been church.

    And since we're on this: my wife can't stand Halle Berry's hair and I couldn't agree more ... that dirty pixie cut by way of weed-wacker ... schwing.

    For the record, I don't claim to have good fashion sense.

    3 hours ago, ErinZaborac said:

    The idea that Stanley does not know how to drive a stick shift, then is forced to drive a stick shift in a high stakes situation - and is IMMEDIATLY amazing at it, is ridiculous. And the idea that John Travolta would risk this with his elaborate plan now in peril - crazypants. That car should have stalled out and jerked to a start. The idea that he hits his stride mid-car chase and then is shifting like he’s on Fast and the Furious? Nope. 

    I can safely say that the fact that I drive a manual transmission has prevented my car from being stolen at least once, probably more (since I seem to be break-in prone) -- simply because most people don't know how to drive one.

    But furthermore, that kind of high-performance car doesn't even work like a normal stickshift would. The car probably wouldn't have stalled and jerked as much as it would have peeled out and run straight into the nearest hydrant before Stan would've even known what happened. 

    • Like 2

  4. 11 hours ago, Cameron H. said:

     ("Yeah, but I can do it. Plus, I made it quickly with a nothing budget. Think of what I could do with more.")

    "I might have been able to build a drone with an Uzi attached. And I could've hired a costume designer who knows how to sew buttons straight on a flight attendant outfit."

    • Like 1

  5. I also like how A-Law is all like "Nah, I didn't really care about Money Plane. It's not like it was this big idea of mine that I would think about at night and have visualized in my dreams since I was a wee tyke. It was just this thing, this goof, this throw-away idea that I didn't really care about" -- as he no doubt held back tears as everyone took the piss out of his passion project.

    • Like 3

  6. AMAZING COINCIDENCE ALERT!

    So, Adam Copeland wrestles under the ringname "Edge."

    Katrina Norman is originally a dancer who, according to her wikipedia page, trained "with the industry's top choreographers at the renowned EDGE [sic] Performing Arts Center."

    There ... that's all I have.

    • Like 3

  7. 7 minutes ago, RyanSz said:

    Even there they were ill prepared as evidence of the woman's face covered in the middle Lawrence's blood when he shot himself under the chin, you really need a plastic poncho like they sell before some water rides in order to get the best protection.

    I think they are wearing ponchos, though ... you can see them when they enter screen from behind McGillicuddy ... they just needed face shields, too, I guess.

    • Like 3

  8. 1 minute ago, RyanSz said:

    If it's a .22 you may as well not even bother for both spray from the victim and the hole left in the canvas, if there even is one. You want something like a .45 at most, especially if it's a larger canvas, that way you have a hole to tell a story about and a good portion of the canvas is "painted." You use something like a .50, especially from something like a Barrett, then you're just going to destroy the canvas and your lackey will look like the crowd who went to one of the first Gallagher shows and didn't know what the Sledge-O-Matic was.

    Or even like the audience at a game of Russian Roulette

    • Like 3

  9. 6 minutes ago, Cam Bert said:

    I wonder what would have happened if he had been reading his daughter a different night time story.

     

    2 minutes ago, Cameron H. said:

    If it had been Rikki Tikki Tavi he would have been like, “Let me at them cobras!”

    If it were "Harry the Dirty Dog" he would've said, "It would be better to steal the candy and bury it in the backyard."

    Or if it were "The Hungry Caterpillar" it would've been "yeah, fuck, eat the whole lot -- you'll be a butterfly by tomorrow anyway."

    1 minute ago, Cameron H. said:

    I wonder if the caliber of bullet matters. Is a higher caliber more dramatic or would that be gauche?

    Does he go through movements with his art? Does he have a hollow-point collection, and a series done with shotguns?

    • Like 3

  10. 2 minutes ago, Cam Bert said:

    I want to question how truly kindhearted this group of Robin Hood like thieves actually is.

    So they take the cryptocurrency and redistribute that to charities around the world. That's good. That's noble. However this leaves them with millions in cash laying around. Do they take that and personally donate it to some charities or children's hospitals? Nope instead they decide to "spread the wealth" by just letting it fall out of the airplane's open door. How is this helping anybody? They have no idea where this money could land. If they're flying over forest, mountains or sea that money will be ruined or chances are never found. Who's to say that the people that find this money will be good people either? Did none of them see A Simple Plan? It could cause chaos and violence. Also they chuck out a bound block of cash. That block will reach terminal velocity soon and come crashing down and could ruin a car, house or even take a life. You've just wasted lots of money that could have helped people, so how "good" of "good guy" thieves are you?

    So, there's that scene where Edge-Bun is reading to his daughter, who asks if it's okay to steal from bad people and says she's going to steal another girl's candy. To which Edge-Bun replies "but if you ate it all yourself, you'd get sick, so it's better to share it." And that's supposed to be what makes him moral.

    But a more accurate analogy for what he actually ends up doing would've been "so it's better to steal the candy and then flush it down the toilet." Which would make him ... I dunno, the Joker?

    • Like 3

  11. 10 minutes ago, Cameron H. said:

    Do you think a bullet hole in the canvas would increase or decrease the value of the blood splatter?

     

    8 minutes ago, Cam Bert said:

    I mean that's where the artistry comes in. To shoot them in the head to splatter on the canvas and not ruin it with a bullet hole. That's what separates the Picassos from my three year old nephews.

    Or it could be like that Banksy painting that was set up to shred once it was bought. The damage actually increases the value.

    • Like 2

  12. On 7/31/2020 at 1:53 PM, ChunkStyle said:

    I'm going to add Quiver Distribution to the list of winners during this pandemic along with billionaires and insider-trading senators.  I feel like they took advantage of the absence of movies in the theater to pretend like this would have been theatrically released.  Even before HDTGM covered it I was aware of its existence but that should never have been the case for a movie like this that should have gone straight to the $3 DVD rack at a gas station.

    When you consider that this movie was made under social distancing guidelines, it makes sense that there are only 15 people in the cast. 

    23 hours ago, nthurkettle said:

    Hang on - I ALWAYS peel the entire banana. How else are you going to examine it for gross, bruisy, mushy bits before you eat it? You're just taking bites of your banana BLIND?!? WOW you people live on the edge.

    So, when you peel an entire banana and find a bad spot, what do you do then -- throw the whole thing away? Because you can discover bad bits while peeling slowly as you go. 

    I hope you at least make a mean pudding.

    • Like 3

  13. 5 hours ago, Cam Bert said:

    The one line that stands out for me is when Kaz runs to take a cold shower to curb his horniness he complains "Damn New York City pluming, you call this cold water?" Water by nature is cold. When it enters a building it doesn't go through a special cold pipe to get colder, it is already cold. There is nothing pluming could do to make the water colder. Granted Kaz is a homeless mentally ill man who sleeps in garbage and probably hasn't had a shower in many a year. Is it the case that his body is so use to washing or bathing in sinks and from hoses that regular cold water isn't that cold to his body? Also, has the inability to get cold water ever really been a complaint? Has anybody ever jumped in a shower and been like "Hey this is warm, I wanted an ice cold shower because I'm a sociopath."

     

    3 hours ago, Cameron H. said:

    You’ve clearly never needed to suppress a lust demon. I hope you enjoy the view from your ivory tower.

    Speaking as one who lives in the American south, cold showers are a major part of my plan for getting through the next few months. Of course, lots of folks down here are total sociopaths, so ...🤷‍♂️

    But if, in that moment, Kaz needs to jump in the shower to suppress a lust demon, might it also be the case that the demon also just wants to take a really cold shower? If I were a demonic incarnation of carnal hunger given corporeal human form and suddenly I discovered what it meant to be cold, I would find that especially gratifying. Perhaps even sexually gratifying, since I am a lust demon and all. 

    Kinda like when Dick from 3rd Planet From the Sun took a drag from a cigarette and said he could feel his lungs for the first time.

    • Like 3

  14. 5 hours ago, DrGuts1003 said:

    This idea is reinforced by the fact that the sword Sonia grabs from her occult store is labeled as 'the sword of Asmodeus'.  Asmodeus is known as the demon of lust.  In 1589, a German bishop named Peter Binsfeld published an influential list of demons and paired each demon with one of the seven deadly sins:  Lucifer (pride), Mammon (greed), Leviathan (envy), Beelzebub (gluttony), Satan (wrath), Belphegor (sloth) and Asmodeus (lust).  It is said that Asmodeus' dominion is lechery - he causes performance issues when men are with their wives and induces their attraction to other women.

     

    1 hour ago, Cameron H. said:

    While I don't think any of us can say for sure whether or not Kaz and Sonia had sex or just made out, I have to agree with Jason that Kaz smoking a cigarette is the universally accepted short hand for post coital satisfaction. However, my problem with this is, if Kaz came, and is presumably no longer horny, what guarantee do they have that the lust demon stick around?  I mean, I totally get the position they are in, and if it's their only hope of saving Denny, it would be downright irresponsible of them to *not*turn Kaz on, but no one said they had to until completion.

    I'm just saying that was a pretty dangerous game they were playing with Denny's life, and if I were her, I would still be kind of pissed. 

    What you're saying is that if Kaz actually came, he might have gone from Asmodeus to Belphegor?

    • Like 5

  15. I don't think anyone mentioned that a "gris-gris" (pronounced "gree-gree" like Sonia's sister Miguela's store) is actually a word that refers to a charm or talisman that is meant to ward off evil spirits. Maybe this is some oblique rationale for why Miguela survives her attack from the Mangler? Or maybe, considering her sister is psychic, she has some sort of familial passport to the spirit realm and is able to resist somehow?

    Or maybe the writers of the movie just had a list of cool sounding spiritual-esque words and picked one at random for the name of the store. Either way, just a little trivium for you.

    • Like 5

  16. 23 hours ago, theworstbuddhist said:

    When I listened to that bit I thought of Stella but even more so a series called Michael and Michael Have Issues, about Mike Showalter and Michael Ian Black as rival comedy writers working on a show about themselves. Dark and hilarious and of course, dicked around by Comedy Central.

    Another good one.

    BTW, the Harley Quinn cartoon that they talk about is really good, too. It's on SyFy, which I don't know if they mention.


  17. 46 minutes ago, GrahamS. said:

    Are they available for free? I think Paul was concerned about Human Giant being lost to time, Jason was concerned that not many people would see those shows because they’re ONLY on the CC app, presumably for paying customers.. And Jason didn’t think the app was popular.

    No, not for free, unfortunately. You can get it with a cable subscription ID, though, if you have one of those handy.


  18. I enjoyed Paul and Zouks' chat today. I'm sure Jason will be happy to hear that I finally broke the seal on Detroiters recently and have been laughing my ass off. And Review has been on the list for quite some time. BTW Paul, both are available on the Comedy Central app ... I only mention this because you worried that these two shows have. been lost to time.

    However, the CC app does NOT have Stella, which can only be watched on Vimeo. Can't buy it on Amazon Prime, YouTube only has a few clips of the show, and then some of their short pieces and live bits, but the episodes don't seem to exist online anymore. It's one of the best off-shoots of The State -- highly recommended.

    • Like 1

  19. Trust me, you guys -- Signor's hire was not a fluke. This guy could get hired just about anywhere. The principle is probably not the only one involved in the hiring process. I've served on search committees at my school. Here's basically how it goes:

    Signor submits and an application, and he's probably one of 150 applicants for that position. Because HR has so many rules to follow regarding equal opportunity hiring and to avoid discrimination, the only information committee has on him is what he puts in his application, cover letter, and CV. The committee members are faculty at the school who don't want to be doing this extra work, so they look for anything they can to narrow down the field -- 50ish applicants are folks just out there applying for jobs and don't meet the minimum requirements; another dozen or so want too much money; another dozen are honestly overqualified for the position -- until they finally have 10 or so names, which frequently comes down to a crap-shoot between identical-sounding, faceless candidates.

    Then the first interview with the committee, which for Signor probably went pretty well because, as has been mentioned in this thread extensively, he knows how to teach fine art and could probably bullshit through a Q&A and teaching demonstration. He'd be quirky, sure, but that often appeals to academics. Then, the second interview, probably with the principle this time. It's probably at this stage that the background checks happen. Bear in mind, none of the people involved so far are responsible for the background check. That's usually done by some service contracted by HR, which means it is done outside the school and can take time. If they're in a rush to fill a faculty slot, they might offer the job before HR hears anything from the background check. We had one guy who had already been given a full teaching schedule before we learned that he had used a stolen social security #.

    Basically, there's a lot wrong with the hiring process at schools. It's totally conceivable that they hired this guy and now just can't get rid of him. Hell, they are all bad teachers -- the one guy wouldn't just stop for a second and watch this kid's hair grow with his own eyes?! What a dick. And as for Signor, did anyone see his office? They been trying to get rid of him for a while.

    1128289273_ScreenShot2020-07-04at11_23_33PM.png.a988e9a1dec2da690291ba6c9daaefc7.png

    • Like 4

  20. [slowly stirring, stretching his limbs, rubbing his eyes as they focus upon his inexplicably-rusted flintlock rifle and the pile of bones by his side where his dog normally sleeps, combing a hand through a beard that he's never had before]: Hey guys! How long was I out?

    Anyway, about the Signor --

    On 7/3/2020 at 9:07 PM, RyanSz said:

    Did anyone else notice that Connie's family might be really well off? When the Signor is getting ready to tear up his drawing after ripping Michael's flaming dog, Connie makes a threat of never coming to the class again and how much his dad is paying this school, or at least the last part sounded like that. The Signor instantly stops what he's going to do and steps away in a huff. It made me think that the dad was donating a boatload to this school and Connie could cause this to stop if he told his dad about his art class experiences. Also before seeing the principal run down Signor's misdeeds as a fraud, it should have been obvious when he as an art teacher was telling his students he wanted no imagination in the classroom, which is the complete opposite of what art is.

    The gang seemed flummoxed by the fact that Signor wears a robe, and it makes me wonder if they've never seen Monty Python before. Teachers in upper-crust private or boarding schools in Britain and its territories wore modified academic regalia in the classroom well up through the 80s. Some may still do it, just to be snobs about it (other than Hogwarts, that is).

    monty-python.jpg

    In fact, Signor reminded me most of the School Headmaster from Pink Floyd's The Wall ... hair, garb, ridicule of creativity, industrialization of children's bodies, everything.

    peanut+butter+solution+pic3.jpg

    The-Wall-6-400x276.jpg

    This may mean that, sorta as @RyanSz said, the school in the movie may be a richy-rich prep school. Which makes it even more baffling that no one checked into this persons credentials before they hired him.

    • Like 1
    • Haha 1

  21. 6 hours ago, Cameron H. said:

    I could be wrong, but I think he bums it from one of the other musicians. Which, in my mind, is still kind of shitty thing to do. “Hey, look how much better I am at this than you using your own instrument!”

    First of all, the guys in the jig band seemed fully competent, and we don't know he couldn't fucking shred that fiddle. In a city where everyone is a top-tier artistic talent, why wouldn't we assume that? Alls we know is Ruby says "I think you could smoke that guy," which, fuck you Ruby. 

    Secondly, I rewatched just now and we don't really see where he gets his violin ... he waves the girls on to join in the tabletop clog ballet and then, just ... has it. And the jig band's fiddle player still seen with an instrument, so yeah, I guess he had it with him, just in case he needs to show someone up which, fuck you Kyle.

    But having played about a jillion bar gigs in my lifetime, I can confirm that certain types of dude (yes, it's always dudes) absolutely will not hesitate to ask bar musicians at a gig if he can commandeer the guitar and play a song or two. And then get quite shitty about it when you say no, we're working, we've got a thing going on here, and no not even during a set break. That dude tends to show up in the same crowd at the guy who requests "Freebird." 

    • Like 6
    • Haha 1
×