Big Richard

“I don't mean to toot my own horn" said the proud and boastful sumo wrestler, "but whenever I get in and out of my car, I accidentally honk the horn with my stomach".

You can lead a horse to water, but there’s a lot of dumb fucking horses out there.

“My dick may not be 12 inches but it sure smells like a foot!” - Big Richard and Cousin Greg

My father always told me "A penny saved is a penny earned". He also always told the fountain in our mall to go fuck itself.

Shut the damn door! What, were you raised in a Barnes & Noble?