TroyHeeschTheVoiceActor

Rimjob me or give me a job, I don't ask for much

If you smell toast, you're probably experiencing a stroke. I smell cotton candy, what the fuck is wrong with ME?

If pee is sterile, are humans just soda fountains?

Correct me if I'm Wrong did it, but I he was out with the Mrs.

I keep combing my neighbor's dolls hair, does that mean I'm impotent?

Blinded by Science, but deafened by THEATER!

If rintintin is so smart, why isn't his name FartSmartSmart?

Grab my axe, I feel an itch coming on

If the puddin' ain't hot, you're The Thing. Thought about this not even for a catch phrase. I was just driving and was like, those are the conditions.

Little known fact: The Beatles got their name based on John Lennon's domestic abuse history

If Jason is a man then who the heck is this Zoukas character?

If Roger Waters was right and we don't need no education, then why is his grammar less gooder?

If you're here for all of my farm eggs, I'm afraid I tied all the animals tubes

Sit back, relax, and imagine Attorney General Jeff Sessions played Home Improvement's Wilson for all those years.

Casablanca? Actually, my house is white.

The same way Socrates predicted the atom bomb is the same way I predicted I'd be motor boating seniors at a bon jovi concert

Peter picked my dick in a police line up while on molly and proceeded to fuck the one way mirror

If butter is churned milk, are kids churned vaginas?

You ever looked in the mirror and thought"You're sexy, you're smart, you're talented, but that doesn't undrown that child"? Me three!

Mirror mirror, disco ball, is this the shittiest disney reboot of all?

If my nipples are hard, my penis is soft, and if my nipples are soft, I don't want no baby

My Uncle Susan got my Aunt Steve pregnant and she's gonna shit a litter

I don't do this on every first date and it looks like my streak continues

Teach a man how to hammer, he'll build you a house. Teach a serial killer how to hammer you're probably not bright.

A penny saved is a penny earned, said grandpa joe in my dead aunt's urn