Honestly, I'm shocked this one hasn't been done before... 1) It's a well-known film that sparked the Brat Pack, 2) It's directed by our favorite Joel Schumacher, and 3) it's so, so bad.
St. Elmo's Fire(1985)
Dir. Joel Schumacher
Writ. Joel Schumacher & Carl Kurlander
Starring:
- Rob Lowe
- Demi Moore
- Emilio Estevez
- Ally Sheedy
- Judd Nelson
- Mare Winningham
- Andrew McCarthy
- Martin Balsam
- Andie MacDowell
Dis. Columbia Pictures
If you haven't seen the film (like, how have you not see it yet) it's basically about... well, I guess it would be classified as a coming-of-age film, but it's really a movie about absolutely nothing. A group of kids graduate from Georgetown University, which is how they explain the relationships between a group of people that otherwise would have nothing to do with one another. In this group:
- Alec (Judd Nelson) and Leslie (Ally Sheedy) - Couple moving in together after graduation. Alec is a real dick about wanting to get married right away, basically pressuring Leslie about getting married every fifteen minutes. You discover later that it's because he's convinced being married will stop him from cheating on Leslie so much (???). He's a democrat who's persuaded to work for a republican because it pays more, and Leslie is mildly disgusted, as she should be (among many other reasons to be disgusted).
- Kevin (Andrew McCarthy) - A love-sick beatnik who's secretly smitten with Leslie and just CAN'T. GET. OVER. LESLIE. so bad that it's his entire reason for existence or something... I don't know. Also he smokes a lot. He's roommates with...
- Kirby (Emilio Estevez) - ... who is by-far the weirdest character in the whole movie. He's in love with Andie MacDowell's character Dale, an older graduate of Georgetown who's an ER doctor. And by "he's in love" I mean he's legitimately stalking her and the movie seems to think that's really cute when it's not. He even takes a job working for a wealthy businessman, Mr. Kim, so that he can pretend Mr. Kim's car and house are his. He throws together an entire house party at Mr. Kim's (obviously without permission because that's insane) just to impress Dale. At one point he stands outside a window, in the rain, at a different house party where Dale is. And Dale's response is to bring him home because WHY NOT. But nothing happens, other than Dale's roommate recognizing him as the weird asshole who stands outside their apartment asking about Dale. Seriously, I figured at some point the film would address how fucked up Kirby is with his stalking but it seems to instead try to make it cute AND in the end he does get to kiss her, which is kind of rape culture? I don't know, it's messed up.
- Jules (Demi Moore) - A party girl who loves coke and money but is always having to mooch it off of other people. Basically a stereotypical pretty rich girl with problems. She's extremely melodramatic as you'd expect and also has a neon sign made to look like Billy Idol's face hanging up in her living room because coke usually leads to good decisions, right?
- Wendy (Mare Winningham) - Mousy woman who comes from a well-to-do family but only wants to do social work in place of running the family business - especially since her father insists she marry first. But she don't want none of that! You know what she does want? Rob Lowe! Which I would ordinarily get but his character in this film is kind of the worst and very gross. Also she's a virgin and embarrassed about it. You can probably guess what happens with Rob Lowe. Which leads me to...
- Billy (Rob Lowe) - Former (kind of still current) frat boy and saxophonist who knocked up a woman in college, married her, but can't handle being a dad/husband so he just plays the saxophone. He tries to take advantage of most of the females in the group which usually goes sour, until he takes Wendy's virginity. Earlier in the film they almost get together but Wendy feels that Billy is taking advantage of her crush on him. But later I guess that's not an issue? Because I'm pretty sure he's still taking advantage of that by the time they actually hook up. Also his wife/baby mama has a very good female mullet. And I can't tell if he's getting divorced before he hooks up with Wendy but like many things in this film, it probably doesn't matter.
I think the overriding issue I have with this film is the characters' treatment of events and problems that should be alarming but aren't in the movie. Half of the cast, especially Wendy and Dale, look like they're phoning it in pretty hard throughout the entire run. Especially Dale - I've never been a huge Andie MacDowell fan but her acting is incredibly flat and her reactions to being stalked are incredulous. Even other characters in the film know it's fucked up but Dale's always like "Oh Kirby... Kirby come inside, you're going to catch a cold!" If I had to pick, I'd say Andrew McCarthy and Ally Sheedy are the best of the bunch, but they also aren't given much to work with. Many of you are probably familiar with the theme from the film, written by David Foster. For a motif it works well but it also tends to play at the worst moments. Like, it's a little too lighthearted for some of things that happen (STALKING).
Anyway, wanted to throw this into the hat on the off-chance they review the film!
