Juicy Jesse the Juiceman Jesse

We're here! We're sheared! We're sheep!

My butt doesn't work, it's unemployed! Get a job fat ass!

If you find a stump, take a bump off the lump on the crumpet.

A long long time ago in a Office Depot far away, a man weeps in the bathroom. His life is in shambles.

Be the change you have in your pocket, basically useless.

Real talk, it's time for me to pee while I say WEE WEE WEE all the way home.

JESUS CHRIST! Is my lord and savior...AMEN.

Would you like a dumb ass pickle you idiot?

Help, I've fallen and I just gave up!

Hey butthead, you forgot your wallet! Now get out of this Kinko's before I call the fuzz.

Deliver me to hell with one day shipping from Amazon Prime. I'm your host Optimus Amazon Prime.

My mother is here and I have something to say.... Mom, I'm your son.

Gone are the days where we can plan with a man about a broken fan. Hi, welcome to WTF with Marc Maron, I'm your host Joe Rogan.

If your name is John Travolta, then please sir go to hell.

The Bees have knees, so say please when they offer you some cheese, and they spread pollen so you sneeze and I'll rhyme one more time.....Wheeeeeze.

I've been working on a Ringo Starr impression and here it goes....Hey, my name is Ringo Starr, a member of the Beatles.

Hi, my name is Scott and this is what I'm going to say to you right now. Get ready! 3,2,1 and Kiss My Piss!

When eating tuna salad, don't forget to throw it in the God Damn trash.

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I'm protesting Tapioca! Get the hell outta here! No one wants you!