Doctor Suessicide

Also, while making that compilation I noticed Gnorm's kryptonite: glass doors. Bullets are no big deal, but two of his escapes are foiled by transparent bonk walls.

I made a compilation of Gnorm's assaults, because yeah!

Are you a pudding pack? Because I want to snack on your skin.

When she said this I was fully expecting it to be a joke that the other cronies react to, like "that was a suggestion not a law!" But if it was supposed to be a joke it was dropped on the floor.

A broadcast is for broad people, a pod cast is for pod people

I am convinced Gabbi wrote this after watching Welcome Mr. President (wiki), a genuinely funny Italian film from 2013. Welcome Mr. President is about a kind librarian from the country who gets elected to president of Italy as the result of an mistake by corrupt party leaders. Just from that summary you can see the similarities, but the shared plot points go way further: The establishment immediately picks up the protagonist and drives them to a resignation speech... But at the last minute they change their mind and decide to use their power to change the status quo. The modest leader gives away their new wealth to the needy. The carefree leader falls in love with their straight-edge assistant. The low-class leader annoys their Italian chef by wanting pizza instead of fancy food. A mishap leads to a bunch of officials eating pot, which happens to make everyone like the leader more. (In WMP this is a real mistake instead of an intentional poisoning, and at least the weed is cooked instead of sprinkled on raw.) The corrupt politicians tap the leader's phone and misinterpret a conversation as blackmail material. When that doesn't work, the antagonists go after the leader's best friends, which finally makes the leader step down. After the leader steps down at the end of the movie they get a "what comes next" call from an even bigger authority asking for help. (VP in Gabbi, Pope in WMP). Of course, every one of these plot points is executed better in the full-fledged film, from writing to acting to production. I almost find it impressive that with so much of the plot already accounted for, Governor Gabbi isn't able to insert a single intentionally funny element into its runtime.

I was very disappointed their birthday was some random day in April instead of February 22nd.

Slopping up some Woods on a Blowy Evening

I would like to address how mad Guy Pearce when he finds out that the tech guy used Open Source Software as part of their project. This is about as absurd as yelling at a chef when you find out there's salt it your meal. Sure, you could get by without it but no one does because it would be more work for a worse product. It's safe to say that the machine you're reading this on would not exist without open source software. Also, in scientific research it's considered bad practice to keep your source code closed as it prevents others from testing your results. That's for peer-reviewed journals, though, and maybe this organization plans on killing anyone who criticizes their work. I guess Guy Pearce doesn't know much about how his science/tech actually works, so he's more of an Evil CEO than a Mad Scientist. In which case, I wish the final act of this movie was KT & Wiggins digging through the nitty-gritty of software licensing law and having Vin play a cyborg lawyer.

Heh. Bush.

I'm a little teapot, short and stout. You're a big D-bag, get the fuck out.

I came to kick bubblegum and chew ass, and I'm all out of bubblegum.

Sex and drugs a straight baby?

I've got sixty nine problems, but erectile disfunction ain't one.