Señor Gravy Stains

And I bet he won’t shut up about midichlorians either.

I’m not blaming it all on the face tattoo, but having ‘FREE COSBY’ on your forehead didn’t do you any favors in that job interview.

Lori so Petty, she wouldn’t sign all my Tank Girl memorabilia.

Wake up sheeple,The Flintstones was just creationist propaganda. Good vitamins though!

This commercial for ipecac is airing ad nauseam.

I’m a big fan of goo goo dolls. Not the band..goo goo dolls is what I call my sex robots. The goo is REALLY hard to clean out once it’s in there.

Forget 72 virgins. Give me a cheeseburger in paradise, baby!

This movie has JCVD fight a terrorist that’s dressed as the Penguins mascot. Later he suits up in goal during game 7 of the Stanley cup finals. This movie is ridiculously entertaining and would be perfect for HDTGM.

I’ve got a tickle in my throat, all the way down to my pickle and my scrote.

Between the spooky ghost and the dookie toast, this bed and breakfast has been a disappointment.

A- tisket, a-tasket, celebs on twitter anti-vax it.

Your big foot kicked me right in my hairy Henderson’s.

Forget it, Jake. It’s Vagina Town.

Scooby Doo can doo-doo, but Jimmy Carter is smarter. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to Homer Simpson for submitting that catchphrase in 1995.

I’ll l’eggo your eggo if you l’enis my penis.

Break out the Depends, I’m going on a cleanse!

There once was a man from Sheboygan, but nothing rhymes with Sheboygan and he had a normal penis.

I have to skidaddle, but please enjoy the entire Color Me Badd discography that I queued up on this jukebox.

No, YOU’RE making a scene in this Denny’s. I’m just eating the leftover Grand Slams that haven’t been cleaned off the tables yet.

I have to admit, my new job at Wackenhut isn’t exactly what I was expecting.

I’m gonna give you a Deep Impact and then Armageddon outta here.

My doctor said I’m healthy as a horse. He also said, “this is the vet and I’m just a horse doctor”.

I’m still a Pogs champion, no drunk driving conviction can change that.

Fun fact, Jesus was ticklish.

Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle...since my brother made love to a monkey.