SuppleNupple420

They should probably stop playing Fleetwood Mac’s “Break the Chain” during anything that isn’t in support of abusive relationships.

I recently discovered that I’m allergic to bull shit, this vegan diner really needs a new menu.

Why don’t YOU try keeping your nipples from getting hard at work, Karen?

Mavis Staples has been really bad in concert since announcing the inheritance of Staples chain.

Woe is me, tragedy defined: I’m a ghost who needs a hug.

Sell my body, sell my soul, but you’ll never have access to what I don’t have or else I’d sell that too because I’m so in debt.

From tiny acorns, do mighty oaks grow. From large things do tiny acorns fall, and from my thing do average acorns swing.

Ruffle my truffles, shuffle my nupples, I just need something a little more supple.

You know you wanna You know you gotta Just lick the booty hole one time to see if it’s something we’re into.

What’s up, wiener dog?

One for the seam, two for the beans, three for the peen I’m keen to glean.

I just want to hear Scott say, “Alexa, set sleep timer for 60 minutes,” so I don’t have to set my sleep timer myself.

Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang, the second most accidentally linked website to porn after Dick’s Sporting Goods.

Those salty knockers are knocking me flat, I should pay more attention while walking around the salt lamp store.

Boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs.

I really hope Pig-Pen from Charlie Brown was taken from his parents for child neglect. #justiceforpigpen

All dates are Vegan dates, just don’t forget to wash your mouth after eating a vegan date, or else your vegan date may have an allergic reaction to your vegan date.

Supple Nupples Ruffle Truffles Make my booty shuffle

I’ve always dreamed of opening a space that is an automotive repair shop by day, and a strip club by night. It would be so greasy!

I once dated a vegan who tried to steal a garden. All I wanted was to trim her hedges. Don’t judge, it’s a thing.

I identify as a toaster.

I just don’t think anti-vax parents get enough representation in superhero movies.

The roof is on fire, holy shit, I’ve never been this paranoid about hotboxing.

Avoiding spoiler alerts at all costs, I’m no longer checking the best-by dates on my food, now I have salmonella.

Mark Ruffalo, don’t be a ho, make that Hulk butt give us a show.