BloatedFartingScumBag

I'm fretting my fucking fruit compote won't defeat my foot fetish-fearing fiancee's Fettuccine Alfredo. Oh well, "Fake it 'til ya bake it."

Adam Ant's adamantium atoms ate Ada Fisher's fish-flavored fissures.

Shyamalans for my real friends, Real Milans for my sham friends.

Feces, poo poo, caca-doo-doo. However you dress it up, I've got a scat fetish.

Non-specific celebration or equine-specific imitation? You must choose: "Yay" or "neigh"?

"Steadward Edward, Ripe-and-Redward". That's what those diaper-rashed detainees used to call me in baby jail.

"Steadfast Edfast, Ripe-and-Redfast". That's what those colic-y convicts used to call me in baby jail.

A dong in hand's worth two in the tush.

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt? That guy's parents were real pieces of shit.

Forgive me this ol' groaner, but I farted on my boner.

Riddle me this or riddle me that, I'll be sucking you off for those concert tickets whether you like it or not.

Get out of my jeans, get into my cargo shorts. It's hot out there and I got shit to carry.

Getting high on the San Andreas Fault gives a whole a new meaning to "shake and bake."

Stick a battery in your dick and experience the phenomenon!

Here's the church and here's the steeple, open the doors and read The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pre-Teens

Notice to you lazy wipers: trap that mess with ad-ult diapers

Ace is the place for a hellish hardcore fuck

I walk through Disneyland to get a great thong tan, I watch Disney movies to see the Heynong Man

The cat's in the bag and the bag's down the river, if the river is my pee stream, the cat is a kidney stone and the bag is my ballsack.

Stop. Please shut your mouth and listen. I could've sworn I heard a young man pissin'.

With nary a thought, I join Christian Mingle, then check-out the dudes and feel my thighs tingle

Up Your Butt and Around the Corner, to the Side and That's What You Ordered

Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs invite you to spy on young witches in thongs.

A moment of silence to handle the matter, then flatter my bladder with incessant chatter.