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About BloatedFartingScumBag

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  1. "What's that, mom and dad? You think if I act up then I deserve a spanking? Okay, how about this idea, geniuses: if you're gonna spank me every time I do one wittle naughty thing, then I am gonna spank the two of you every time I do a good deed! Ya like that, ya dumb-dumbs? Looks like the hand is on the other cheek now, eh, dad? New no-no: When I'm good I spank my parents now!"
  2. My. Mother. Said. To. Pick. The. Very. Best. One. And. You. Are. Not. It!
  3. Instant rice or instant ramen: sacrifice to Tutankhamun.
  4. If whiffs of butts were sexy sluts, my life would be lousy with promiscuous girls
  5. My favorite part of any movie is when they reference MS-DOS
  6. Silly little birds, all in your nests...wondering what's going to happen next... Good luck...
  7. youcanrunyoucanhidebutyoucantescape.gov
  8. Call me "Late to Dinner", but don't call me anything else! I'm hungry, just not quite yet!
  9. Cradle to the grave? Don't mind if I do! This crib is cursed and I've got a mausoleum guy!
  10. Stare at my clearly undescended testicle any longer and I'm turning this school bus around!
  11. Bump #2 cuz this pandemic ain't endin' and my will ain't bendin'
  12. Past-tense for my sex friends, sextants for my past friends. Hope you didn't get lost on the way to the midnight maritime orgy.
  13. If loving you is Ali Wong, I don't wanna be Jack White
  14. BloatedFartingScumBag

    Now hear me out: "diarrhea"

    Every story has two sides