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About BloatedFartingScumBag

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  1. Two if by Pink, One if by Stink: That's What I Scream Every Time That I Blink
  2. BloatedFartingScumBag

    Distance Makes the Fart Grow Hotter

    Yabba Dabba Don't.
  3. "Goosey Lucy, Good-and-Juicy". That's what those puerile prisoners used to call me in baby jail.
  4. I'm a total bozo when it comes to rhetoric and Early Modern English, which begs the question: "Wherefore art thou, Romeo? I can't find thee!"
  5. Time to bool out with your tool out, and queef out with your beef out!
  6. Give a man a kiss, he's yours for the day. Teach a man to kiss, well that just sounds like my mom's relationship with her 33 year-old son, me!
  7. In this world only two things are certain: the life AND times of Tim.
  8. Come hence, common MENSA men! Commerce commends cum hens!
  9. I'm very intolerant of the dairy-intolerant. Just feed me my lactose or I'll make it so you lack toes!
  10. I smoke up some Cheeba then head to Amoeba and listen to my country music crush, Reba.
  11. I'm fretting my fucking fruit compote won't defeat my foot fetish-fearing fiancee's Fettuccine Alfredo. Oh well, "Fake it 'til ya bake it."
  12. Adam Ant's adamantium atoms ate Ada Fisher's fish-flavored fissures.
  13. Shyamalans for my real friends, Real Milans for my sham friends.
  14. Feces, poo poo, caca-doo-doo. However you dress it up, I've got a scat fetish.