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F-Word Scissorhands

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F-Word Scissorhands last won the day on April 16

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About F-Word Scissorhands

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  1. In this lane there should only be equestrians on foot, and pedestrians on horses
  2. That Freddie Mercury movie is infectious, but I’m taking Antibiopics
  3. Lovely Rita meter maid?! More like lovely Rita meet her maker! Because, you know, she’s dead.
  4. This is a ‘gray area’ for the law. Like Trump’s pubes.
  5. Really?! ‘Fundraise’? Shouldn’t it be ‘raise funds’? Sorry, I don’t mean to be a verb dick.
  6. shrimp shells and mouse poop are the new pumpkin spice
  7. I feel like we still need closure on this bra
  8. They say to eat a diet with whole grains, and you can’t take all the salt; truth. But do you take that all with a grain of salt, or take it to heart, because there’s a grain of truth to it?
  9. If police pull you over, you can steer the interaction by speaking thoughtfully. I like to begin by asking “What seems to be the problem, orificer?”
  10. Welcome to The Trout Hatchery. Here’s your milt shake. Would you like fry with that?
  11. I was sentenced on all counts, more than I can count, and by all accounts that was a lot of sentences.
  12. At long last! Now every thing is finally all coming together. Except for a few things, which will hopefully come together later. But they are only like 49% of the total number of things, at most.
  13. ...she was raising two young boys and, also, one super old boy.
  14. I am sexually attracted to cans of corned beef hash, an orientation known as Hormelsexuality.
  15. She has two small children at home and, also, one gigantic child.
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