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Euripides’ Shorts

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Euripides’ Shorts last won the day on November 14 2019

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  1. Euripides’ Shorts

    I’m not drunk. YOU’RE drunk!

    I’m not drunk. YOU’RE drunk!
  2. Plugs are patient, plugs are kind. They do not envy or boast…unless they’re on prime time.
  3. Take the test: kick the nest and haul ass from the bees’ rage fest.
  4. Monkey see, monkey do. Monkey throw his poop at you.
  5. When I taste that sweet confectioner’s glaze, it puts me in a haze for days. I’m allergic to beetles.
  6. This lotion I bought for my scrotum is potent. I dote on it ‘cause they don’t test it on rodents.
  7. I like my coffee like I like my sexual partners: hot, moist, and ready to spill.
  8. Did a civet shit in these brownies or am I just that good of a baker?
  9. The fart is the symphony of the bowels.
  10. Don’t scratch on the 9-ball. Scratch my behind, Paul.
  11. Nebuchadnezzar never could nezz her ‘cause he hardly knew her.
  12. The gloves are coming off; my pants are coming down.
  13. “If you build it, they will come,” read the do-it-yourself dildo instructions.
  14. You may have an alibi for ugly, Mr. Smith, but not for the public nudity charges.
  15. Two, four, six, eight! Watch that stock depreciate!