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Euripides’ Shorts

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Euripides’ Shorts last won the day on November 14 2019

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About Euripides’ Shorts

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  1. If you are what you eat, call me gum off the street.
  2. Bright Light City gonna trigger a migraine.
  3. TIL “Upton Sinclair” was actually a pen name of the Upton’s near Lake Sinclair.
  4. Oh! No HOLDS barred. Okay, I get it now.
  5. When you said we were going balls-out, I thought you meant something else.
  6. Nurts, nurts: they’re good for your nurts. The more you eat, the more you nurt.
  7. Waiter! I ordered X and this is Y!
  8. An off-duty perfume tester in a public restroom has shit to sniff.
  9. I must say I enjoy the cut of your jib sir.

    1. b.u.t.t.cheeks

      b.u.t.t.cheeks

      Right back at cha Euri...can I call ya Euri?

    2. Euripides’ Shorts

      Euripides’ Shorts

      Certainly. You may call me Euri, Shorts, or E. Deez Shorts, not to be confused with Edie’s Shorts, the clothing company with which I’ve been embroiled in a lawsuit recently. I was here first, Edie!

    3. cianumis

      cianumis

      Keep up the awfully great work.

  10. Don’t dump in my oatmeal and call it Quaker, don’t crap on my cabinets and call them Shaker, and when I’m acting don’t call me a faker. I use the Method, sir.
  11. I know it works for chocolate, Mr. Darden, but “Death by Shrimp” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
  12. Grits: cold, unsalted, unbuttered. Tried to work but I only puttered. Fire wouldn’t light; it only sputtered. And I don’t see an age limit posted on gutter guards, sir, so I’ll be speaking to your manager.
  13. Greens in beans are keenly lean, but spice in rice is twice as nice.
  14. TIL “So Long, Frank Lloyd Wright” is actually about penis size.
  15. He who lights and runs away can poop and light another day.
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