"Give me lib-titties or neocon nips."

["Give me lib-titties or neocon nips."]

"Give me lib-titties or neocon nips."

[My followers have left me no choice so, without time to spare, I'm officially launching my asshole directly into the sun!]

My followers have left me no choice so, without time to spare, I'm officially launching my asshole directly into the sun!

[Get that genie's peenie-weenie out my lemon drop martini]

Get that genie's peenie-weenie out my lemon drop martini

[Alpha-dogs for my a-holes and beta-blockers for my b-holes]

Alpha-dogs for my a-holes and beta-blockers for my b-holes

[Wakey-wakey, Kevin Bakey. Rise and shine! It's Larry Fine!]

Wakey-wakey, Kevin Bakey. Rise and shine! It's Larry Fine!

[Ashes to ashes, tip to taint, show me where to spray that paint!]

Ashes to ashes, tip to taint, show me where to spray that paint!

[Parents: The Ultimate Virgins]

Yep

[As a family subsisting solely off feces, we live by the following: 'Eat Shit or Die!']

As a family subsisting solely off feces, we live by the following: 'Eat Shit or Die!'

[If you can't stand the feet, get out of the fetish forums.]

If you can't stand the feet, get out of the fetish forums.

[Two if by Pink, One if by Stink: That's What I Scream Every Time That I Blink]

Two if by Pink, One if by Stink: That's What I Scream Every Time That I Blink

[Distance Makes the Fart Grow Hotter]

Yabba Dabba Don't.

["Goosey Lucy, Good-and-Juicy". That's what those puerile prisoners used to call me in baby jail.]

"Goosey Lucy, Good-and-Juicy". That's what those puerile prisoners used to call me in baby jail.

[I'm a total bozo when it comes to rhetoric and Early Modern English, which begs the question: "Wherefore art thou, Romeo? I can't find thee!"]

I'm a total bozo when it comes to rhetoric and Early Modern English, which begs the question: "Wherefore art thou, Romeo? I can't find thee!"

[Time to bool out with your tool out, and queef out with your beef out!]

Time to bool out with your tool out, and queef out with your beef out!

[Give a man a kiss, he's yours for the day. Teach a man to kiss, well that just sounds like my mom's relationship with her 33 year-old son, me!]

Give a man a kiss, he's yours for the day. Teach a man to kiss, well that just sounds like my mom's relationship with her 33 year-old son, me!

[Give a man a wink, he'll twink for a day, teach a man to wink, he'll twink for life.]

I don't know I'm 

[In this world only two things are certain: the life AND times of Tim.]

In this world only two things are certain: the life AND times of Tim.

[Come hence, common MENSA men! Commerce commends cum hens!]

Come hence, common MENSA men! Commerce commends cum hens!

[I'm very intolerant of the dairy-intolerant. Just feed me my lactose or I'll make it so you lack toes!]

I'm very intolerant of the dairy-intolerant. Just feed me my lactose or I'll make it so you lack toes!

[I smoke up some Cheeba then head to Amoeba and listen to my country music crush, Reba.]

I smoke up some Cheeba then head to Amoeba and listen to my country music crush, Reba.

[I'm fretting my fucking fruit compote won't defeat my foot fetish-fearing fiancee's Fettuccine Alfredo. Oh well, "Fake it 'til ya bake it."]

I'm fretting my fucking fruit compote won't defeat my foot fetish-fearing fiancee's Fettuccine Alfredo. Oh well, "Fake it 'til ya bake it."

[Adam Ant's adamantium atoms ate Ada Fisher's fish-flavored fissures.]

Adam Ant's adamantium atoms ate Ada Fisher's fish-flavored fissures.

[Shyamalans for my real friends, Real Milans for my sham friends.]

Shyamalans for my real friends, Real Milans for my sham friends.

[Feces, poo poo, caca-doo-doo. However you dress it up, I've got a scat fetish.]

Feces, poo poo, caca-doo-doo. However you dress it up, I've got a scat fetish.

[Non-specific celebration or equine-specific imitation? What say you? Yay or neigh?]

Non-specific celebration or equine-specific imitation? You must choose: "Yay" or "neigh"?