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Euripides’ Shorts

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Everything posted by Euripides’ Shorts

  1. Euripides’ Shorts
    A grown ass man walks into a bar and the bouncer says, “Hey buddy, I’m gonna need to see some kind of hyphen.”
  2. Euripides’ Shorts
    I may be drunk off my ass, but that doesn’t mean I can’t sit here while you get me another beer, sir.
  3. Euripides’ Shorts
    I misunderstood you when you said everyone needed to evacuate immediately.
  4. Euripides’ Shorts
    Make haste; make waste. Just don’t make it on my face.
  5. Euripides’ Shorts
    All day long cows moo and poo but when I do it’s “shame on you.”
  6. Euripides’ Shorts

    Tyrannosaurus?! I hardly know ‘er!

    Euripides’ Shorts posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    Tyrannosaurus?! I hardly know ‘er!
  7. Euripides’ Shorts
    When you asked me if I wanted a Ding Dong, I thought you meant something else.
  8. Euripides’ Shorts
    It’s not cheating if the nuts don’t touch.
  9. Euripides’ Shorts
    I only wipe when the fruit is ripe; other times I leave a stripe.
  10. Euripides’ Shorts
    My understanding is your partner breaks up with you, you deny it, then you see their boobs and become furious as it all hits home.
  11. Euripides’ Shorts
    Rectum damn near killed him: it was Crohn’s disease, your Honor.
  12. Euripides’ Shorts
    I’d rather date a snooty cutie with a booty than be shunned by a hon’ without one.
  13. Euripides’ Shorts
    There are two kinds of toilet paper in the world: the kind that tears up your asshole and the kind that sticks to it.
  14. Euripides’ Shorts
    So just to be clear that’s Denial, Boobs, Anger, Collective Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.
  15. Euripides’ Shorts
    The other B is for “boobs.”
  16. Euripides’ Shorts
    I’m sorry, “DBACBDA.” Make a note, Scotty, make a note!
  17. Euripides’ Shorts
    Now it should be DACBDA. Make a note, Scotty, make a note!
  18. Euripides’ Shorts
    I’m happy with my life but sometimes I’d just like to take a dump without having to post it on Instagram.
  19. Euripides’ Shorts
    “Collective Bargaining”
  20. Euripides’ Shorts
    Well suck my rug, it’s comedy time!
  21. Euripides’ Shorts
    “I’m just sayin’” is all I’m sayin’.
  22. Euripides’ Shorts
    Ask not for whom the broom looms; zoom zoom boom boom.
  23. Euripides’ Shorts
    Welcome to Humanity’s American Podcast Show Where We Talk to Interesting People
  24. Euripides’ Shorts
    Wow! I’ll bet on that.
  25. Euripides’ Shorts
    They say love is blind, which explains why there’s so much groping involved.
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