Euripides’ Shorts

Undies down, time to clown.

Condominium? I hardly know him!

No seriously, who let the dogs out?

Mention here or mention there; just don’t mention underwear.

Grow old along with me! And wipe my poop and pee.

Que pasa, bratwurst?

Skeet-skeet…skeet-skeet, skeet-skeet. The more the merrier.

All berries or no berries, Cap’n Crunch should really up his quality control.

There are three kinds of people in the world: people who know how to count, and people who don’t acknowledge Count Chocula’s nobility, and Count Chocula himself.

To beat or not to beat: that is the question.

If it looks like crap and sounds like crap but tastes great it’s probably a cruffin.

Girls don’t fart, they fluff. Except when they actually fart.

Don’t sit there and talk to me about responsibility. Your podium is up here, Professor. Now let’s get this ethics symposium keynote address started!

If you can’t take the heat, can you at least haul away my old window unit?

She gets elevator eyes and then invites him ‘twixt her thighs when he sings “Bette Davis Eyes.”

It’s all fun and games until someone busts nurt.

Ben bit Benny in a Boise Benihana, but he didn’t bite the bento box because he didn’t wanna.

I once asked a zombie why he didn’t eat other zombies. He said, “What are you, my dietician?”

I left my sextant in a sex tent.

On the bowl I pay my toll, then stand and hand-wash ‘round the hole.

Your corona, my Sharona.

It’s all fun and games until someone gets the squirts.

Dog butt dogs but a dog’s butt, dawg, but dogs’ butts dog all butt dogs, y’all.

Don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining, unless of course it IS raining, and in that case, piss away.

Oui, monsieur. We miss your wee, Miss Yurr.