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Euripides’ Shorts

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Everything posted by Euripides’ Shorts

  1. Euripides’ Shorts
    Number two on the call sheet? I take a number two in the hall, Pete.
  2. Euripides’ Shorts
    I realize “poop” is spelled the same forward and backward, but that doesn’t mean those monkeys take kindly to return volleys.
  3. Euripides’ Shorts
    The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ deez gang aft on your chin.
  4. Euripides’ Shorts
    Deep into dog mess I step—and muse While brown poos fuse To my blue suede shoes.
  5. Euripides’ Shorts
    Theirs not to reason why, theirs to go to Best Buy.
  6. Euripides’ Shorts
    If I had a nickel for every time I needed a pay toilet, your Honor, I wouldn’t have these five arrests for public urination.
  7. Euripides’ Shorts
    Monkey see, monkey do. Monkey crank it with your lube.
  8. Euripides’ Shorts
    The days of freeball past were simpler times.
  9. Euripides’ Shorts
    “Do a little dance. Make a little fudge. Get down tonight.” So goes the anthem of the Keebler elves.
  10. Euripides’ Shorts
    Na-na na-boo-boo; stick your head in doo-doo. Congratulations, you’re hired.
  11. Euripides’ Shorts
    Grind it up! We’re goin’ to Beantown, baby!
  12. Euripides’ Shorts
    I’ll have the hot slaughtered meat on powdered wheat mixed with fungus. On second thought, just give me the hamburger.
  13. Euripides’ Shorts
    I call being pregnant “you’re welcome,” but that’s ‘cause I’m half Italian.
  14. Euripides’ Shorts
    Two chimps flung poop at a yellow sign, And I cleaned the side less caked thereby, And that’s why I’m not Head Zookeeper.
  15. Euripides’ Shorts
    Peter Pantser pantsed a pack of pesky pranksters. How many criminal charges will Peter Pantser face?
  16. Euripides’ Shorts
    Pants, pants: they cover your butt. Your dad didn’t wear them, and I saw his nut.
  17. Euripides’ Shorts
    The worst part of this pandemic is not being able to rip nasty in a crowded elevator.
  18. Euripides’ Shorts
    The sharper the cheese, the better the cut.
  19. Euripides’ Shorts

    Macadamia nuts?! I hardly know ya!

    Euripides’ Shorts posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    Macadamia nuts?! I hardly know ya!
  20. Euripides’ Shorts
    Deez nuts are made for restin’. That’s just what they’ll do. One of these days deez nuts are gonna rest upon your chin.
  21. Euripides’ Shorts

    Everybody poops, so give me two scoops.

    Euripides’ Shorts posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    Everybody poops, so give me two scoops.
  22. Euripides’ Shorts
    The ants in France dance mainly in my pants.
  23. Euripides’ Shorts
    There’s nothin’ in the rule book that says a dog can’t have two Halloween costumes.
  24. Euripides’ Shorts
    The guy laughing at the beginning of “Wipeout” was just predicting the toilet paper crisis.
  25. Euripides’ Shorts
    No, I did Not shake At the time I would Not dance Now I have piss pants
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