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Euripides’ Shorts

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Everything posted by Euripides’ Shorts

  1. Euripides’ Shorts
    Desperate times call for despot pleasures. Now take my highness to Chuck E. Cheese’s. I gotta get my Skee-Ball on.
  2. Euripides’ Shorts
    If I wanted my ass kissed I’d go to a chocolate factory and stick my bum on the extruder.
  3. Euripides’ Shorts

    Shut the front door, please, you fuck!

    Euripides’ Shorts posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    Shut the front door, please, you fuck!
  4. Euripides’ Shorts
    Some men manspread; some mansplain. Kick my nuts, please; I like pain.
  5. Euripides’ Shorts
    Buy me some chinos and make some mojitos—these mom jeans aren’t going to sell themselves!
  6. Euripides’ Shorts
    Opinions are like assholes: everybody wants one in their face but is afraid to ask for it.
  7. Euripides’ Shorts
    My friend Dixon Seidja has trouble getting job interviews. I blame the economy.
  8. Euripides’ Shorts
    A penny saved is another snack I don’t have to buy my piggy bank.
  9. Euripides’ Shorts
    Slaw dog, raw dog: it’s a tomato/tomahto situation.
  10. Euripides’ Shorts
    Dear Kris Kringle, These Pringles are making my dingle tingle.
  11. Euripides’ Shorts
    Whilst whistling as I walked and talked (And thereby tunes composited), I ate a bug and vomited.
  12. Euripides’ Shorts
    While reading Goethe’s Faust, I made a turd in house.
  13. Euripides’ Shorts
    Skip the chips and slip the nips! …On second thought, I’ll have the chips.
  14. Euripides’ Shorts
    Thou shan’t go assward until thou speak’st the password.
  15. Euripides’ Shorts
    My bespoke chokehold can help you cross the threshold, but it’ll cost a boatload.
  16. Euripides’ Shorts
    Two scoops of raisins, poops on occasion.
  17. Euripides’ Shorts
    Waiter! I asked for sand and this is QUINOA!
  18. Euripides’ Shorts
    Is that eggplant parmesan or are you just happy to see me?
  19. Euripides’ Shorts
    I baked you a brownie. No, the other kind.
  20. Euripides’ Shorts
    It’s not a cookie, Mother. It’s a urinal cake I found in the bathroom.
  21. Euripides’ Shorts

    Grab-ass, anyone?

    Euripides’ Shorts posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    Grab-ass, anyone?
  22. Euripides’ Shorts
    No one says “‘tis” anymore. I don’t play Jizz anymore. (I quit my job as a Star Wars cantina band reenactor.)
  23. Euripides’ Shorts
    You can have your cake and eat it too As long as you’re cool with your cake being poo.
  24. Euripides’ Shorts
    Last night, he got it and gave it. Last rites, he died on the pavement.
  25. Euripides’ Shorts
    Excuse me, I asked for crackers with these swamp nuts.
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