Euripides’ Shorts

If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be a sweetie and get those damn nonpareils out of my toilet bowl.

Did someone say chilly dog? Throw a parka on that puppy!

Don’t look at me, officer. I stole this hotdog cart fair and square!

My choo-choo grazed a hoodoo as it raced apace a kudu. Bad juju.

A bird in the hand is worth two nagadas.

When you said you had a tight pipe you needed me to inspect, I thought you meant something else.

I’ll Boston Cream your Long John. Just Donut in my Bear Claw.

Evil weasels teased my beagle so I hired a paralegal. Now I’m living regally off this weasel fortune.

I drink your milkshake; you watch my rump shake.

Good bread, good meat, good Ghrelin, let’s eat!

Let’s get titular on this business!

I knew you had a well-hung dong, but this video doorbell is something else!

Think where man's glory most begins and ends, and say my glory was I had such a well-hung dong.

Ask not for whom the Cheetos; it ‘tos for thee.

Ebenezer Scroogie throws a mean curveball.

So true!

Don’t dock it ‘til you’ve dried it, don’t gawk until you’ve eyed it, and don’t knock it ‘til you’ve rung the doorbell at least two times.

A wistful wish to a distrusting witch: Wilt thou whisk the bubbling trouble A bit quicker whilst I wait timidly?

Early to bed and early to rise—could you turn off that damn alarm clock, Grandma?!

The best things in life are fat.

America’s Podcast comin’ at you hard and fast!

Waiter! I asked for piss and this is LEMONADE!

I can Mashed Potato; I can do the Twist. Now tell me baby: can I dance your son’s bris?

If you’re down to clown go get my Burger King crown.

When I’m in funds, I mess my unds.