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Euripides’ Shorts

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Everything posted by Euripides’ Shorts

  1. Euripides’ Shorts
    Don’t take that tone with me, young man! We really need to work on your formants.
  2. Euripides’ Shorts
    Theirs not to reason why, / Theirs but to jerk off dry.
  3. Euripides’ Shorts
    If your daddy’s rich, take her out to a meal. If your daddy’s poor, just neck in a field.
  4. Euripides’ Shorts
    Open your mouth and close your eyes and you will get deez nuts on your chin
 My aim’s never been good with Jordan almonds.
  5. Euripides’ Shorts
    Open your mouth and close your eyes and you will get a root canal.
  6. Euripides’ Shorts
    Two dicks converged in a docking tube, and I bore the one less circumcised, and that has made me chafed.
  7. Euripides’ Shorts
    My lord, my liege, a five-cent précis: a cucumber greased in the small of the knee is one slick pickle to tickle. Nickel?
  8. Euripides’ Shorts
    My friend Lemmy GrĂĄbachas has trouble dating.
  9. Euripides’ Shorts
    Junk in the trunk makes me wanna spank my monk’.
  10. Euripides’ Shorts
    Little did I know the “railroad humidor” was filled with mostly turds.
  11. Euripides’ Shorts
    It burns every time I pee; it’s spurns every time I see you.
  12. Euripides’ Shorts
    All the world’s a stage at a live porn theater. 
They have those, right?
  13. Euripides’ Shorts
    Don’t drink the Kool-Aid
 No really, I pissed in it.
  14. Euripides’ Shorts
    A horse divorce is a matter of course and often one to be ta’en by force.
  15. Euripides’ Shorts
    The jampire Snackula rustled hot raspberry jam from my carotid artery.
  16. Euripides’ Shorts
    A pea shell flung into the wind humorously is a comedy pod cast.
  17. Euripides’ Shorts
    Poo-poo pee-pee, I need someone to change my diapey!
  18. Euripides’ Shorts
    Damned if you do, damned if you don’t use the dental dam
  19. Euripides’ Shorts
    I heard Colfax’s Dachshund is a real corn dog.
  20. Euripides’ Shorts
    Exorcise! Circumcise! Fix that window and eulogize! And that’s
the
demon baby waaayyyyyy!
  21. Euripides’ Shorts
    But officer, my pants ARE up! That’s why I’m doing this handstand.
  22. Euripides’ Shorts
    ‘Rectum, dam near Kiltem, explodes; Kiltem residents without power’
  23. Euripides’ Shorts
    One man’s trash is another dog’s piñata party.
  24. Euripides’ Shorts
    Sorry, Mark. THIS sausage party is women only.
  25. Euripides’ Shorts
    Two bangs walk into a comedy, and the host says

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